Welcome Jen Black

I have to confess I would never have made a musician or an accountant, because I cannot sing true and numbers go straight through my head. But I have always been able to string sentences together. I used to fancy my essays at school were very good. Then I grew up and all the doubts and insecurities of adulthood rushed in. I realised what a labour and how good you had to be to write a book for publication. Reading was so much easier! And so I read anything and everything. When the urge to write struck again, I wrote Banners of Alba, about a young man in tenth century Scotland struggling to hold onto his birthright in spite of devious uncles and cousins. It was published in 2005 and if I edited it again today it would be a few thousand words less! By now I have learned to be more sparing with my love of words. Over the years I’d read so much history and studied it at university, I felt I could claim I knew my subject.

Harriet Klausner liked the book. “Though there is a major romantic subplot, THE BANNERS OF ALBA is more a magnificent medieval fiction that brings to life the twelfth century through the power struggles. Readers will appreciate the internal dilemma confronting the hero as he must choose between two paths filled with deceit. Symbolically the two women in Finlay's life represent the choices he has. As the champion learns that picking what he deems is good for Alba is not necessarily good for him, readers obtain an exhilarating historical thriller starring a hero worth rooting for." Harriet Klausner. 

When I started writing it was on a typewriter, the kind that required effort to punch those keys. Then I got an electric model and a few years after that along came the first computer and writing became, in one sense, laughably easy.

When Banners was published I had another story ready to go. This one, Dark Pool, concerned a Dark Pool suffers at the hands of the Dyflin Vikings and narrowly escapes death in the blazing war-torn rubble after an attack by Waterford Vikings. One reviewer claimed this book was too gritty to be a romance, but I leave that to the reader to decide.

The hero of Banners, newly proclaimed as King of Alba (the old name for Scotland) sets out, much against his will, and hampered by her argumentative brother, to retrieve her. 

In Far After Gold the hero Flane buys the heroine Emer as his bedslave. Surprisingly, (or perhaps not in the land of romantic fiction!) they fall in love and struggle against outside forces that threaten to part them. Katla, the chieftain’s daughter, wanted Flane as her bridegroom and resented Emer from the day he brought her home. When she accuses Emer of theft, Emer runs away and faces all kinds of danger. By the time this book was written, self-publishing was newly on the scene, so I decided to give it a go. The advantages are that I can control everything about the process – change covers, prices, and know exactly what the sales are.

Fair Border Bride first saw life as a paperback with the title Til the Day Go Down, which was a quote from an old border ballad. When the publisher failed, I re-wrote large sections gave it a new title and put the book up for sale on Amazon Kindle in 2011.

Set in 1543 along the border country between England and Scotland, Alina and Harry have only just met when her father threatens to kill Harry because he belongs to the hated Scott family. With the help of Matho, guard captain of Alina’s home, Harry escapes, but their problems have only just begun.Full of wry border humour, this book introduces Matho Spirston, the hero of a more serious historical novel I have out now on submission to agents.

Reluctance is published by MuseItUp Publishing, a Canadian company. The setting of the story is very close to where I live and I often walk in the grounds of Gibside estate, now run by the National Trust, and ponder the lives of those who lived there in years gone by.

In 1803, Frances is happy with her life as a rich widow until two men appear in the neighbourhood. Jack she knew as a child, but fails to recognise the man he has become. Holgate cuts a fine figure in his regimentals and impresses Frances's mother rather more than Frances. A frightening episode with Holgate leads Frances and Jack to consider a marriage of convenience, but that leads to problems neither envisaged. For reasons of his own, Jack refuses to consummate the marriage and Frances cannot bear it. The penultimate chapter, where she confronts him, strips all emotions bare.

Melanie Grey endured a bitter marriage which ended in an accident that killed her aged husband and left her facially scarred. Unable to claim her dower rights, she travels north to Northumberland in hope of a quiet life as housekeeper to Lord Jarrow. She soon discovers he has secrets, and her curiosity grows. Unexplained night time activity, and a shooting that almost kills Jarrow - can Melanie deal with these things and make a new life for herself in the country?

I’ve walked, ridden and driven through and around all the places I write about, and love delving into the past. Narrow alleyways in old towns lure me in every time! 

  A quick link to all my books is here:  http://www.amazon.co.uk/Jen-Black/e/B003BZ8JNQ

Openings - How Important Are They

Dig out your red pencils. After posting the topic on opening lines,(the one I borrowed from Phyllis Campbell)then judging several entries in the EPIC contest, I'm realizing how important the opening of a book really is. I decided to continue the theme.

Author Jen Black turned this topic into a challenge. She actually posted opening lines on her own blog and asked visitor's to critique them. I went and added my two cents (you know I would), and now I'm going to accept her challenge to do the same. I invite you to join by doing the same on your blog.

Below, you'll find the opening of my works-in-progress. I invite you to point out anything I can do to improve on my hook. Would these make you want to keep reading? Remember, these are actually the openings to the stories I'm working on now:

Odessa:

“Can anyone hear me?” Odessa Clay screamed. Nothing in the desert stirred except the hot wind that whipped her long hair into tangles.

Her nails dug into her fisted palms. She returned her gaze to the overturned wagon atop her father. Again, she struggled to lift the cumbersome weight.“God, please help me.”

The Locket:

A heavy mist hung in the air. Sheila Townsend’s bangs drooped into her eyes. Her muscles tensed as she hauled open the heavy door to St. Paul’s Cathedral. Her entrance flickered the tiers of candles at the altar.

She paused inside, removed her scarf and blotted her face. The stained glass window on the far wall--an image of the Holy Mother--looked far less impressive at night than when the sun shone through the tinted panes. Hurrying up the long aisle between empty pews, Sheila slipped into the confessional, sat and slid open the door separating her from the priest.

First Degree Innocence:

“Okay, Lang, strip!”

The guard’s bark made Carrie’s stomach turn. She cowered in the corner of the women’s processing area, unable to move. Her legs wobbled and her lips quivered under the blast of cold air from the ceiling vent.


Shortcomings:

“Hey, gimpy, wanna race.” Pep squad captain, Sally Rogers, yelled from across the street amidst a gathering of her groupies. “If you win, maybe I’ll buy you something new to wear.”

Cindy Johnson sagged against the tree at the bottom of the hill leading up to her house, wishing she could sprint home to escape the piercing stares and haunting laughter. Seventeen years ago she’d been born with one leg noticeably shorter than the other. Every day brought a new heartache. Would the tormenting ever stop? Tears burned the back of her eyes. Since she’d switched schools, not a day passed that someone didn’t question her deformity or comment on the limp it caused.

Okay...have at me. I'm ready to learn. :)

Tuesday's Tidbits

Still more to add to your list of things to avoid as an author. For you readers out there...how many of these "faux pas" do you notice in the books you buy?

A fellow author and friend from my historical critique group, Jen Black, posted a very informative blog, making reference to another site where she found the original post. If you'd like to read the entire post, then visit Pat Holt's blog. I'm so glad Jen shared this.

In the interim, I'm going to borrow her "headers" and see how many I can apply to myself. I invite you to do the same is you're an author:

1. Repeats:
We all have favorite phrases we use in our writing, the secret is to avoid over-using them. Word echoes, especially when you use the same word within one paragraph warn of redundancy and are best avoided. Here's a silly example: John placed his glass on the table and gazed at Vanessa. Tipping her glass, Vanessa smiled over the rim and sipped her drink. When finished, she lifted her glass in a toast. John hoisted his glass into the air. Are we sick of 'glass?' I think this is one habit I've learned, but still slip into occasionally. Luckily, I have my critique group to help. Ask them and they'll tell you that I drive them crazy in my critiques of their work with highlighting echoes.

2. Flat Writing:
I'm not so sure I've fallen into this habit, but Ms. Holt warns "it's a sign you've lost interest." I've seen this in books I've read, and often wonder the purpose of phrases that do nothing to propel the story and really add nothing to the plot. I suspect they may not really indicate a lost interest, rather are the author's attempt to reach a mandated word count. *smile*

3. Empty Adverbs:
Boy, I'm trying to break this habit, and it isn't easy. Examples: actually, totally, absolutely, completely, continually, constantly, literally, really..) The list goes on and on, and for story telling, they seem appropriate, but replacing 'ly' words with stronger verbs is the answer in fiction writing. Of course, 'ly' words have a place. If you eliminate all, your writing will become too stiff. There's a secret here and I'm trying to uncover it. I think I've made progress.

4. Phony Dialogue:
What I gleaned from Ms. Holt is the need to make your characters unique. We all have distinct voices and habits, so try to convey those to the reader rather than have everyone sound alike. Speak with a unique voice for each character by not using the same phrasing, and make the dialogue realistic. Stop and think....would my character really say that?

5. Suffixes:
As with 'ly' and 'ing' words, some 'ness' words sprinkled into the story have a place, but adding so many that a reader has to stop and absorb them or re-read is not a good sign. Examples: mindlessness, courageousness. Another habit we slip into is often adding 'ly' to 'ing' words in our descriptive tags...often described as "Tom Swiftees.: Poor example, but the best I can come up with: "That was a refreshing dip," the boy said, swimingly. If I do this, I'm certainly not aware of it.

6. To Be Words:
This has been a toughie for me. 'To be' words slow the pace of your writing and often move it to passive rather than unveiling the story in the present. 'Am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been...' are common examples, but of course cannot all be eliminated. The secret is finding a happy medium.

7. Lists:
I don't believe I fall into his habit anymore, but I sure have read the work of several authors, especially newbies who have. An example would be trying to 'list' everything on a buffet table. Before you name everything, the reader is yawning and may have tossed the book aside. "Cecile's stomach rumbled as she gazed at the eggs, potatoes, hot rolls, oatmeal, toast, jelly, butter, bananas, apples, pears,plums, and pots of hot coffee and tea on the table." Listing a little to give the reader is a much better idea...maybe her mouth watered at the hot baked bread, and then let the reader smell it by describing the smell of yeast.


8. Show Don't Tell:
Oh, Lord, have I come a long way on this one. I actually 'get' the concept. When I completed and submitted my first manuscript, my editor said, "You've written a beautiful story. Now we have to make it into a novel." I wondered at her meaning, but until you weave in the smells, emotions, actions by drawing the reader in and allowing them the experience, you really have only TOLD a story. The secret is SHOWING so when your heroine cries, so does the reader. Let the wind caress the reader's face, let them smell the flowers, feel the slap. If you aren't there yet, believe me, some editor will help you along. *big grin*

9. Awkward Phrasing:
I think the best rule of thumb is KISS (keep it simple, stupid.) If you are writing a sentence so long and so strangely worded that it requires more than one reading, you've failed this test. I believe I used to do this, but now I've learned from many editorial whippings to shorten sentences for emphasis and ease of comprehension. No reader likes to get to the end of a long drawn out sentence and scratch their head. Unless of course they have dandruff. *lol*

10. Commas:
Speaking of scratching one's head... this one has me stumped. Just when I think I understand and follow the written rules of good punctuation, a publishing house decides to try to eliminate commas. I guess you have to follow your publishing guidelines, but my belief is: If you have two sentences joined together with 'and or but' you need a comma, and if there is a natural pause, a comma is called for. Commas also clarify things for the reader when one word follows another and doesn't make sense if read together without a pause. My mind is too numb from all these rules to give you an example, but I think you understand.

So...I encourage you to go back to the link and read Ms. Holt's full post, and Jen's too. The examples are all helpful and encourage continued learning. I know I benefited from reading them and I'm happy to pass along the wisdom.