Sunday, April 13, 2008

The Amazing World of Commercial Television

The almighty dollars overshadows everything we see and hear, but do you imagine that there are really people in this world that believe the stuff that commercials try to feed us? Do women really believe if they buy that 'special lubricant' that shows a sex-starved pair of lovers doing it all over the house, that their husband can suddenly maintain an erection for longer than ten minutes? Do girls really believe if you use Tampax, you can swim, even if you never learned how? Do groups of women really get together and dance around in their underwear in a celebration of 'just my size'? I was never invited to one of those gatherings. Should I be upset?

I'm sick of hearing about medicines that prolong erections, elongate a penis, how someone with genital herpes is taking special precautions to protect his girlfriend, despite the risk of liver failure, seizures, heart attack or stroke. I don't want to see a bear telling me I should wipe my butt with Charmin or a lizard telling me which car insurance I need. How would they know? Show me a fat woman eating Special K and then show me her in a month and prove the results you say will happen if I indulge in that horrid cereal for thirty days. Then show me the women who really wear a bra for Eighteen Hours because that's the name of it. If my maxi pad isn't a mini, is it a fashion statement, and if it has wings, can I fly? Is nothing sacred anymore? I preferred when we didn't publicly discuss hemorrhoids, jock itch or feminine discharge. Who decided we needed all this information?

I, for one, am sick to death of the crap we are forced to view between programs. I'm so thankful for DVRs so we can record programs and speed through the ridiculous stuff. Someone needs to tell the advertisers that they are insulting the American public. :)

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