Are you Kidding Me?

God spare me from anything else to worry about! Wasn't it enough that the media had me in a panic over using my cell phone when they announced they might cause brain cancer? Now our vegetables are going to be zapped with radiation to kill the germs and virus' that cause e-coli. I was appalled to discover they've been doing that to certain meat products for a while now. No one asked my opinion. Have I consumed some and didn't know it. Maybe I should turn off the lights and see if I glow in the dark yet.

Just reading the side affects listed on medication gives me nightmares. If I leave my bottled water in a hot car, I might get cancer, cancerous polyps might be lurking in my colon, my cervix might growing cancerous cells...oops, I don't have one. But, if I forget my sun screen I might get cancer. There's a hole in the ozone, you know? That in itself is a big concern.

The ice caps are melting, the jet stream is too warm or too cold and it affects our weather in crazy ways. Deadly pollutants have made their way into our precipatation and rain down and cause...you guessed it, Cancer! What doesn't cause it?

Then we have the elections. John McCain doesn't know how many houses he owns. Should he really be president if he can't answer that question? Obama can't just announce his VP candidate, he wants to TEXT it. Can you tell he's seeking the younger vote? How many senior citizens do you know who text? Frankly, I don't see the need. If I have something to say, I'll call you. I have better things to do than try to figure out cryptic messages. If you ask an expert, they'd probably tell you that stressing over texting can cause cancer, too.

I have a great suggestion. How about instead of investing in more homes, Obama and McCain donate to cancer research. Just think, if every candidate used a portion of their campaign money, asked every professionally overpaid athlete to donate the proceeds of ONE game to the cause, we might be able to eradicate the disease and never have to worry about it again. What a concept! I don't care how great Brett Farve is...Who in the hell would offer someone TWENTY-FIVE million dollars to remain retired? But it wasn't about the money...Brett just wants to play, so he will be playing...for the Jets. If Green Bay has that kind of money to throw around...throw it to Cancer research or feed someone. People are starving for Christ's sake. No wonder this country is going to hell in a hand basket. Actually, I don't think we can afford a hand basket, what ever that is. If by chance we can, you can bet it will have a 'made in China' label somewhere on it. They manufacture over half of what we use daily, and we're borrowing money from them??? Oh... I have to stop...my head is exploding.

I'm telling you I need to avoid watching the news. It's just downright depressing.

Note: If you read this earlier, I had seven million as the amount Brett Farve was offered to stay retired. I got my millions confused. The seven million is what Red Bull paid someone to wear a cap bearing their logo while being interviewed on the Ellen DeGeneres show. And they say our economy is in the dumper. For some it is, but others seem to have money to burn... or waste.