I'm Official

After visiting my mother who claims to be bored all the time, I suggested she volunteer somewhere. When I got home, I realized I needed to follow my own advice. I spend most of my days at this keyboard, and my butt keeps getting wider and wider. Other than an occasional comment here, and emails from my author friends, I have no 'adult' contact outside the house. The adult contact inside is limited to grumbling, mumbling and complaining, and quite frankly, I doubt that sick people would be much worse. So I asked myself...How much talent does it require to hand out flowers, pass out trays or direct people to the correct wings and rooms?

I trekked down to our local hospital and signed up. I was interviewed and surprised. Gads...Did you know you have to have a background investigation to volunteer? I wasn't worried since the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation has my fingerprints from when I worked at the jail, but it took forever. My nephew was hired at an Air Force Base to head the aircraft fuel division in a lot less time, and I doubt he had to get a TB test.

I felt like I'd signed up with the CIA. But, when I went to have my 'arm' read for the TB results, I was directed to Human Resources for my 'official' volunteer badge. I wish I had known...I would have combed my hair or put on some makeup, but at least I can say this is a current and true photo of the real me.

Monday, I report for a half-day orientation. I wonder what it entails Holding the flowers upright so the water doesn't spill? Not sticking your finger in the pudding and licking it off when delivering lunch? Not sneaking any of my books onto the reading cart? I'm sure there's much more to it, but since I've never done this, I can't imagine how much 'orienting' one would need. You can be sure I'll let you know, though. :)

I can say with great relief...I don't have to wear the historical pink pinafore. Instead, I understand a dark blue polo shirt with logo, a blazer and tan slacks are in order. Crap, tan makes my butt look bigger, but then who am I going to impress. I dare say I might be the youngest volunteer they have as one of the interviewers referred to me as a 'whippersnapper.'

I look forward to the experience, and it makes me feel like I'm doing something for the community. I can volunteer as many or few hours as fits into my schedule, so I think I'll start with two mornings a week and see how it goes. I definitely realize I'm a senior citizen. I have a bruise where the nurse injected the TB serum. It's depressing. I used to have to do something to earn a bruise. :)