Monday, June 1, 2009

This is one exercise to prepare for your annual mammogram; the other is to lay in the driveway and have someone back the car over your boob. As was so kindly pointed out to me by my sister, I wouldn't even have to lay down. I could stand. age does add some length.

Today, I went for my first mammo in a few years. I've been a bad girl, but my doctor insisted, so I went. Things have improved in small ways. Everything is computerized and the actual films are no more. Although the technician told me I didn't have to hold my breath, an inward gasp as your breast flattens into a pancake is a natural instinct. It's hard to breath until the tech pushes the release pedal. Once they have it nice and flat from top to bottom, then you get to do it all over again from side to side. I actually think it second step is to put it back into it's original shape.

Luckily, the discomfort only lasts for seconds. For me, it's more about the embarrassment of having another human lift my saggy old boob and put it up on the tray, then manipulate it into place like a lump of dough. It's hard to make small talk. "Hey, how about those Dodgers?" *lol*

The reason for the post is not to scare you away from having an exam, but to remind you to schedule one. Mammograms save lives, and don't follow my bad example and wait five years between your appointments. Now I just have to suffer through ten days until they read the results and let me know that everything is okay. I'm prayin'.

1 comment:

Kim Smith said...

Oh Em Gee. Too funny!! AND TRUE!!!

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