Saturday, October 3, 2009
My Band of Sisters
So, is this where I expected to be at this stage of my life? No! But that old saying, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," is growing old. I've run out of pitchers. *lol*
In the past I've told others, "If you think you have it so bad, you need to visit a cancer ward or talk with someone who has just lost a loved one," but you know, it's so much easier to hand out advice than it is to take it. I realize somewhere in the midst of my inconveniences there are blessings, but when you are wallowing in self-pity, it's hard to get your head up high enough to find them.
Family has always been important to me. When I lost my father, I felt I lost my security blanket, but his death made me a stronger person because I had to rely on myself. When my thirty-two year marriage ended in divorce, I really had to start over, and at the age of fifty, the thought terrified me. Since then, I've remarried, and now I worry that my younger husband will leave me because I've lost the energy I had ten years ago. He says I used to be like a kid in a candy store. Now, I'm the old woman in the "depends" aisle.
I always expected I would have family to lean on, but instead I find myself turning to a group of women I met on the internet when we all suffered at the hands of a certain publisher who shall remain unnamed. These women have made a significant impact in my life. When my real sister wrote me out of the family tree for reasons I still don't understand and highjacked aunts, uncles, nephews and others from me, I turned to my "virtual" friends for support. Unfailing, as ever, I got more love and caring than I ever expected. Health scares, family upsets, divorce, death...we're always there for one another, and it amazes me because if not for shared pictures, I wouldn't recognize them on the street.
I've always had tons of friends through work and socializing, but since moving to Tennessee and assuming childcare responsibilities for my grandson, I've made zero, zilch, of the blood and bone type. My husband drives truck and is on the road most of the week, and my younger sister who lives with me doesn't always prefer my company. That thing about two women sharing a house is true, I suppose. She finds me much more boring than I find her. I'd love to bounce my stories off her, but she finds them trivial and uninteresting. Romance, Pooh! Her feelings. *lol*
I just wanted to share this hopeful post with those of you who feel alone. You aren't. People preach that the internet is full of schemers, cheaters and liars, but there are more real friends out there than you can imagine. My "band of sisters" has been there for me when others weren't, and I can't thank them enough. I won't name them, because they know who they are! I love you, gals, you have no idea how important you are in my life.