I’m so not the sexy type. No matter how hard I try to pretend, there is nothing about this sixty-four-year-old body that makes me think I could make a man shiver with desire. Therein lies the problem with being successful in writing Erotica…at least from my POV. When I write, the characters tell me a story and I have to envision the concept to put it into words. There are just no words adequate enough to drag something sexy from this brain to my fingertips. All I can see is myself, and believe me, no one wants to share that image. Someone forgot to secure the baggage and the package shifted during travel. Seriously!
There once was a time when I could put on a black nightie and feel somewhat desirable, but that ship sailed…and I believe sunk some years ago. Truth is, age steals so many things from you that you’ve always taken for granted. All those graphic stories that tell of “his” manhood delving into her “moist” woman’s cave. HA! Once you become a senior citizen, if you don’t have a bottle of lube by the bedside, you’d better be prepared to scream…and not in ecstasy. Drier than dust comes to mind!
And those perky breasts! Maybe twenty years ago they were. Now they’ve migrated North and South. When an older woman is flat on her back, it’s not quite so easy to “capture a nipple" when her breasts reside in her armpits.
Once, I was flexible, now I’m arthritic. Sex is about as appealing to me as having a blood test. And of course, those positions that once brought delight now bring Charlie Horses and achy hips. Of course, some may say, “be on top.” NO friggin way! Then I keep flashing back to Dorothy’s advice to Blanche on the Golden Girls to bend over and look in a mirror. OMG! I did and I believe I’m a direct descendant of the Char Pei dog line. That didn’t do a darn thing for my missing self-esteem.
Oh, I know men could have sex with a knot hole, but I’ve always liked to think I was more attractive than a piece of wood. Now I’m not to sure, and sometimes, I actually wish we had a fence. *lol*
I think the main reason I can’t write Erotica is that I’m a “behind the door” kind of girl—both in writing and my personal life. I love romance. I want to feel the attraction, the heat, but I like things left to my imagination. Close the door at that point and let me picture what goes on behind it. I don’t need to read about every lick, suck or plunge. Honestly, I don’t. But to those of you who do, and write or read it with such ease and comfort, I applaud you.
Erotica is a hot seller, but I guess I’ll miss the boat on this one. Same goes for fairies, werewolves, shapeshifters, and vampires. Readers are really into fantasy, and if you throw in sex, you’re got a winning novel. Unfortunately, most of my characters pop out of the old west, and in order to make the story somewhat believable, even if it is fiction, the author has to show the story to the reader. I can’t if I can’t imagine it. Besides, the only thing howling at the moon in my books is going to be a coyote, and if someone’s shape shifts, it’s because she’s with child. I can’t ever recall seeing a fairy or vampire on Little House on the Prairie or Bonanza, so I think I’ll stick with writing what I can see in my mind’s eye. I have cataracts, so maybe that eye has one, too.
Just so you know...I did FORCE myself to write an Erotica some time ago. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. Normally words flow with ease from my mind to my fingers, but, I really struggled to get the story finished. It's entitled, Searchers, and is still available at Whiskey Creek Press.
Ellora's cave rejected it back then because, GASP!!!!, my heroine had an affair. How offensive is that in this day and age? But, my rejection letter cited that the concept would be offensive to readers and not something they endorsed. Like I said in one of my humorous books...you can have sex with a vampire, a hairy werewolf, or an alien in any body orifice, time-travel to another century and screw a count or duke, but God forbid your heroine actually strays to someone else's bed while she's married. That NEVER happens!