The Top Ten Ways I Know I'm a No Name Author
Every wonder what it's like, being a published author? I know I used to. At sixteen, I was convinced that I would be published at 28 (just in time for my high school reunion...which I never went to), thin, wearing fur (eww), and wearing Prada sunglasses looking all that.
Oh, and I'd be making enough money for all that. Did I mention the limo?
I have only been writing seriously for the last 4 years, the last two being very dedicated to publication. 2010 saw me with about twenty non-fiction articles, one novella fiction release, a couple of short story sales, two completed novels, and some other started projects. That sounds pretty damn good, right? It is and I'm very proud of it. But as people decide to pirate from no name authors and think that watching Teen Mom begets critical thinking, I'd like to take a moment to reflect upon what being me actually looks like.
1. My family doesn't ask me for money.
2. The graph on my royalty statement requires a magnifying glass to see the current sales.
3. I can afford afford to shop at Nine West. But only for sandals. And only on season clearance.
4. My kids are embarrassed to tell their teachers what I do for a living.
5. I'm not cool enough to have my own panel discussions at SF conventions.
6. I have to bribe SF convention committee members with cookies and Star Trek figurines to get on group panels.
7. When I have convention tables, I'm asked what author I'm selling for.
8. My publisher forgets my name.
9. I still drink $15 wine and freeze the leftovers for spaghetti sauce.
10. I still have to eat spaghetti sauce.
Ok, so being a (no name) author didn't turn out exactly the way my sixteen old year self wanted. However, I must admit, I kinda like this life. Doing what I want, doing what I love, and feeding the dogs my leftover spaghetti sauce.
Krista D. Ball is a Canadian SF author who spends way too much time on Twitter.
Check Krista's website to find out about her newest release.