A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house. She heard sobbingfrom the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found he husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing.
"Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much.
"Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant, when you were 16? ...And your father threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?"
"Yes, of course," she replied.
"Well, I would have been released tonight."
Three prisoners are being executed via firing squad. The police are about to execute the first one when he yells EARTHQUAKE!
The police go running and the prisoner escapes before the police realize there's no earthquake. Right before they execute the second one, he yells TORNADO!
Of course, there is no tornado, but the prisoner escapes before the police reralize that. It was turn for the third to be executed. The police go "Readyyy... Aim...". Then, Frank yells "FIRE!"