Tuesday, November 12, 2013


He spent the first day packing his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things.

On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their be-au-tiful dining room
table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a
pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When he had finished, he went into each and every room and deposited a few
half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.

He then cleaned up the kitchen and left...
When the ex returned with her new partner, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.

Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off
gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end
they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked!

People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.  A
month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find
a buyer for their stinky house.  Word got out and eventually even the local
realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase
a new place.

The ex called and asked how things were going.

She told him the saga of the rotting house.  He listened politely and said that
he missed his old home terribly and asked if they would be willing to reduce their divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house.

Knowing he had no idea how bad the smell was, they agreed on a price that
was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if he were to
sign the papers that very day.

He agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the ex and her partner stood smiling as they watched the moving
company pack everything to take to their new home........

And just to spite the husband, they even took the curtain rods!!!


1 comment:

Susan at West of Mars said...

This is an oldie but a goodie... I referenced it the other day in conversation, in fact.

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