Friday, May 16, 2014

Friday Freebits with Ginger - #frifeebits #blogshare

Welcome back to another week of shared work among the participating authors.  I'm carrying on with my chapter, Strangers in the Night, from Life is a Bowl of Toilet and I Clean Them

.My gradual loss of vision coincided with the spouting of hairs on my new, china and a few on my upper lip.  What's that all about?  I had a hysterectomy, took hormone replacement pills daily, but I still grew whiskers.  I don't know about you, but I'm under the firm assumption that my husband should be the only one in the house sporting a beard or moustache.  It's yet another humiliating experience when I'm forced to ask my husband to "groom" me since I can't see well enough to handle the tweezers myself.  I wish the hair on my head grew as fast as those on other parts of me.

At the same time, I entertained the thought of becoming the circus' bearded lady, I noticed the slowed growth of hair on my legs and underarms.  Maybe the phenomena was caused by the minimization is a repercussion of accelerated growth elsewhere.  Who knows?  But, on a good note, having my moustache waxed on a monthly basis at my local salon did take a few pleats out of my lips.

Speaking of waxing.  I recall when I first heard the term "bikini wax."  At first I had no idea what it was, but then asked.  Since I've never had a "bathing suit" body, a few stray public hairs were the least of my concern back then.  Oh, like everyone else, in my younger years, I did do a little trimming just so those little curly hairs didn't peek out of my undies, but I sure as heck wasn't going to let a complete stranger take care of the problem for me.  Isn't life humiliating enough?

I realize this is a very sensitive topic, but I do feel it my duty to warn that you won't always have an overgrowth problem.  You see, one of life's best kept secrets is that the hairs on your head aren't the only ones that turn gray...and even worse, not only men develop male-pattern baldness.  A baby girl may look cute out of her diaper, but there's nothing attractive about a graying, balding who-who.  If you're like me, you won't have to worry as you age about that particular problem.  My boobs will eventually hide both problems...as long as I don't lay down.

Here are things you count on as you reach fifty and beyond:

Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician.
There are three signs of old age...the first is your memory loss, the other two...I forget.
Your mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely.
You're getting old when the same sensation from a rocking chair compares to one you once experienced on a roller coaster.
Never read the small print; there ain't no way you're gonna like it.
If you let a smile be your umbrella, you'll most likely walk around soaking wet.
The only two things you'll do with greater frequency in your senior years is urinate and attend funerals.
After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're most likely dead!

Next week, I'll continue with another new chapter...Always Something There to Remind Me!  Hope you'll join me, but in the meantime, hop on over to the following links and see what my pals are sharing todays:

Jamie Hill
Roseanne Dowell
Tricia McGill
Juliet Waldron
Sydell Voeller
Taryn Raye
Kathy Fischer-Brown
Rhobin Lee Courtright

4 comments:

Sydell Voeller said...

Still smiling, Rita. I can relate all too well.

Rhobin Lee Courtright said...

Lord, I laughed so hard reading you post. Everything you say is so true. The aging road needs many more warning alerts.

David James said...

Very nice and touch the heart .. Great well done!
Pranayama for Stress Relief

Tricia McGill said...

Hilarious and all so tragically true. There is one blessing, if you don't put your glasses on you can't see the dust forming on the furniture.

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