To The Jolly Fat Man in the Red Suit

Dear Santa,

I know it's last minute and all, but I wonder if you can bring me the thing I really need most right now...my muse.  While you're at it, can you please bring a leash so I can keep track of her...or him.  The sweet little darling keeps wandering off and leaving me and Hattie, high and dry.  My muse is what/who keeps story ideas flowing, and usually speaks through my main character.  Since I'm a pantser...what? You don't know what a pantser is? It's said that we in that category write by the 'seat of our pants' instead of plotting out our stories.  In other words, I sit at the computer, fingers poised on the keyboard and wait for my heroine to tell me her story.  I'm not hearing anything and that's not good.

Hattie either stepped on a rusty nail along the Oregon trail and got a severe case of lockjaw, or I'm stalled again.  I've been trying to 'show' this story...oh, I've probably confused you again.  As an author, we 'show' our readers the story, rather than telling it.  In my books, you'll smell the gingerbread, feel the wind against your chubby little cheeks, enjoy the warmth and crackling of the fireplace...oops...maybe that's not a good idea at this time of the year.  Don't want to sear those other chubby little cheeks.  *lol*

But I digress.  I've been trying to show this story for months now.  Even have the cover art ready, but fat lot of good it'll do me if I can never finish the first draft.  You know, I'm not getting any younger here, and neither are you.  Thought about retirement yet?  Let me tell you, it's not all it's cracked up to be.  I was more productive when I had a career...and more organized.  Last year I had a ton of new releases, this coming year...nothing, nada, zip, nil, zero!

So, if you have room in that big ol' velvet bag of yours, can you please cram my muse on top and schedule it for drop off here in Gallatin?  Although I don't set goals for the new year, I do hope to jumpstart Hattie again and keep her moving.  At this rate she's never going to get to California. Why don't I set goals, you ask?  Past experience shows failure to meet them depresses me. Why set myself up for more stress?  Oh, and speaking of stress, a little Xanax too, if you have room. 

I guess it would be rude of me not to include my best wishes for a joyous holiday season, although it doesn't sound like you're going to get much best until the 26th.  Happy flying and Feliz Navidad.  (listening to the song on Pandora.)

Making My List and Checkin' It Twice

Yes, my halls are as decked as they're gonna get.  I love my little tree, and I've spread out a few other festive pieces in places to show my spirit, unfortunately, I'm now contemplating dusting.  Is it worth the time it takes to move them all and put them back, or if I should just wait until after Christmas?  I can pretend it's a dusting of snow.  It's not like I have frequent guests.

My husband asked me what I want for Christmas, but I don't think he can find what I really need on a shelve or department store display.  I'm still holding out for the "lock and load" brassiere...you know the one with adjustable straps that stay put?  You'd think if we can put a man on the moon, this isn't too much to ask.

Oh, and I just have to share this picture with you. That's me on my first birthday.  Back then, the rolls on my thighs were cute.  How come fat is okay on babies?  Anyhow...through Facebook, my sister found a long lost cousin, and she sent me an envelope filled with old photos she had hung onto, most likely from her mother's collection. 

It was a very emotional trip down memory lane, as I looked at pictures of my Mom and Dad and my paternal grandmother who I last saw when I was thirteen and we made a trip to the east coast.  It was the last time I saw her, and my memories of her are very dim.  Grandma Alice was blind by that time.  I remember how she poured my glass of soda, using her finger to tell when the glass was full.  I wish I had known her better and asked a million questions about my Dad's side of the family.  He and his siblings are all gone now and we all have unanswered questions.

 I was working that horse, wasn't I? 


Oh yeah, I just remembered what I want for Christmas.  I want all my friends to go over to Amazon, download my First Degree Innocence for $2.99 and help my royalty donation to Autism to be more than a buck fifty.  :)

C'mon...you know you wanna read it.  Here's a teaser:

Carrie Lang’s sheltered life ends with a prison sentence for involvement in a bank robbery. Her arrest comes on the day she’s called in sick and stayed inside, so she has no explanation how an eye-witness describes her in great detail, down to the make and model of her car. A terrible mistake’s been made, and her insistence of innocence falls on deaf ears, even among her fellow inmates. A plan for retribution is brewing, and naïve Carrie finds herself smack dab in the middle of an evil scheme concocted by the prison bully.  A ten year sentence seems mild when she’s threatened with death for refusing to participate. Can Carrie find a way out of this horrible nightmare, or is she destined to spend her days locked in terror, isolation, and the cold gray interior of prison walls?