To The Jolly Fat Man in the Red Suit

Dear Santa,

I know it's last minute and all, but I wonder if you can bring me the thing I really need most right now...my muse.  While you're at it, can you please bring a leash so I can keep track of her...or him.  The sweet little darling keeps wandering off and leaving me and Hattie, high and dry.  My muse is what/who keeps story ideas flowing, and usually speaks through my main character.  Since I'm a pantser...what? You don't know what a pantser is? It's said that we in that category write by the 'seat of our pants' instead of plotting out our stories.  In other words, I sit at the computer, fingers poised on the keyboard and wait for my heroine to tell me her story.  I'm not hearing anything and that's not good.

Hattie either stepped on a rusty nail along the Oregon trail and got a severe case of lockjaw, or I'm stalled again.  I've been trying to 'show' this story...oh, I've probably confused you again.  As an author, we 'show' our readers the story, rather than telling it.  In my books, you'll smell the gingerbread, feel the wind against your chubby little cheeks, enjoy the warmth and crackling of the fireplace...oops...maybe that's not a good idea at this time of the year.  Don't want to sear those other chubby little cheeks.  *lol*

But I digress.  I've been trying to show this story for months now.  Even have the cover art ready, but fat lot of good it'll do me if I can never finish the first draft.  You know, I'm not getting any younger here, and neither are you.  Thought about retirement yet?  Let me tell you, it's not all it's cracked up to be.  I was more productive when I had a career...and more organized.  Last year I had a ton of new releases, this coming year...nothing, nada, zip, nil, zero!

So, if you have room in that big ol' velvet bag of yours, can you please cram my muse on top and schedule it for drop off here in Gallatin?  Although I don't set goals for the new year, I do hope to jumpstart Hattie again and keep her moving.  At this rate she's never going to get to California. Why don't I set goals, you ask?  Past experience shows failure to meet them depresses me. Why set myself up for more stress?  Oh, and speaking of stress, a little Xanax too, if you have room. 

I guess it would be rude of me not to include my best wishes for a joyous holiday season, although it doesn't sound like you're going to get much best until the 26th.  Happy flying and Feliz Navidad.  (listening to the song on Pandora.)