Wednesday Wisdom (there's none in Washington)

My nephew featured this on his blog, and I know he won't sue me for plagiarism if I share the same information here. He asked a very sensible question, and after going through the massive expenditures listed here, I couldn't find the answer. Can you?

How does this benefit unemployment for anyone other than those in the government sector?

The final $787 billion version signed by President Obama on February 17, 2009 includes the following:


Department of Defense facilities
$4.2 billion to repair and modernize Department of Defense facilities
$1.3 billion for medical care for service members and their families
$890 million to improve housing for service members
$240 million for new child development centers
$150 million for the construction of state extended-care facilities
$150 million for an increase of claims processing staff
$100 million to improve facilities of the National Guard

Education
$15.6 billion to increase Pell Grants by $500 to $5,350
$13 billion for low-income public schoolchildren
$12.2 billion for IDEA special education
$2.1 billion for Head Start
$2 billion for childcare services
$650 million for educational technology
$300 million for increased teacher salaries
$250 million for states to analyze student performance
$200 million to support working college students
$70 million for the education of homeless children

Energy
$11 billion funding for an electric smart grid
$6.3 billion for state and local governments to make investments in energy efficiency
$6 billion for renewable energy power generation loans
$5 billion for weatherizing modest-income homes
$4.5 billion for state and local governments to increase energy efficiency in federal buildings
$3.4 billion for carbon capture experiments
$2.5 billion for energy efficiency research
$2 billion for car battery research
$500 million for training of green-collar workers
$400 million for electric vehicle technologies
$300 million to buy energy efficient appliances
$300 million for reducing diesel fuel emissions
$300 million for state and local governments to purchase energy efficient vehicles
$250 million to increase energy efficiency in low-income housing

Environmental cleanup
$6 billion for the cleanup of radioactive waste
$600 million to cleanup hazardous waste that threaten health and the environment
$200 million to cleanup petroleum leaks from underground storage tanks
$100 million to evaluate and cleanup brownfield land

Government technology improvements
$500 million to update the computer center at the Social Security Administration
$290 million to upgrade IT platforms at the State Department
$50 million for IT improvements at the Farm Service Agency
$24 million to improve security systems at the Department of Agriculture headquarters

Healthcare
$19 billion for health information technology
$2 billion for Community Health Centers
$1.1 billion to research the effectiveness of certain healthcare treatments
$1 billion to fight preventable chronic diseases
$500 million to train healthcare personnel
$500 million for healthcare services on indian reservations

Housing
$4 billion for repairing and modernizing public housing
$2.25 billion in tax credits for financing low-income housing construction
$2 billion for Section 8 housing rental assistance
$2 billion to help communities purchase and repair foreclosed housing
$1.5 billion for rental assistance and housing relocation
$510 million for the rehabilitation of Native American housing
$200 million for helping rural Americans buy homes
$130 million for rural community facilities
$100 million to help remove lead paint from public housing

Hunger assistance
$19.9 billion for the Food Stamp Program
$150 million to help refill food banks
$100 million for meals programs for seniors, such as Meals on Wheels
$100 million for free school lunch programs

Job assistance
$3.95 billion for job training
$500 million for vocational training for the disabled
$400 million for employment services
$120 million for subsidized community service jobs for older Americans

Other infrastructure projects
$4.6 billion for the Army Corps of Engineers for environmental restoration, flood protection, hydropower, and navigation infrastructure projects
$4 billion for the Clean Water State Revolving Fund (wastewater treatment infrastructure improvements)
$2 billion for the Drinking Water State Revolving Fund (drinking water infrastructure improvements)
$1.38 billion for rural drinking water and waste disposal projects
$1 billion to the Bureau of Reclamation for drinking water projects for rural or drought-likely areas
$750 million to the National Park Service
$650 million to the Forest Service
$515 million for wildfire prevention projects
$500 million for Bureau of Indian Affairs infrastructure projects
$340 million to the Natural Resources Conservation Service for watershed infrastructure projects
$320 million to the Bureau of Land Management
$280 million for National Wildlife Refuges
$280 million for the National Fish Hatchery System
$250 million to improve Job Corps training facilities
$220 million to the International Boundary and Water Commission to repair flood control systems along the Rio Grande
$220 million for other public lands management agencies
$50 million for the National Endowment for the Arts to support artists

Other job programs
$4 billion for state and local law enforcement agencies
$1 billion in preparation for the 2010 census
$210 million to build and upgrade fire stations
$150 million for the security of transit systems
$150 million for the security of ports

Other worker assistance programs
$4.2 billion to provide an additional Social Security payment in 2009
$1 billion to community action agencies
$1 billion for community and economic developement projects
$500 million to help the Social Security Administration process disability and retirement claims
$200 million for AmeriCorps programs
$140 million for independent living communities
$100 million for food, shelter and support services
$80 million to the Department of Labor Worker Protection and Oversight agency to enforce worker protection laws
$50 million in grants for community "safety net" organizations

Scientific research
$8.7 billion to the National Institutes of Health
$3 billion to the National Science Foundation
$2 billion to the United States Department of Energy
$1.3 billion for university research facilities
$1 billion to NASA
$600 million to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA)
$580 million to the National Institute of Standards and Technology
$230 million for NOAA operations, research and facilities
$140 million to the United States Geological Survey

Telecommunications and Digital TV
$7.2 billion for complete broadband and wireless Internet access
$650 million for DTV conversion coupons and DTV education

Transportation projects
$27.5 billion for highway and bridge construction projects
$8 billion for high-speed rail projects
$6.9 billion for new equipment for public transportation projects
$1.5 billion for competitive grants to state and local governments for transportation investments
$1.3 billion for Amtrak
$1.1 billion for improving airport security
$750 million for the construction of new public rail transportation systems
$750 million for the maintenance of existing public transportation systems
$720 million for improving security at the border and ports of entry
$240 million for the maintenance of United States Coast Guard facilities

Veterans Affairs facilities
$1 billion for the Veterans Health Administration
$50 million for the National Cemetery Administration

And I just watched his speech for rescuing home owners. One of the stipulations is that you MUST be current on your payments. Wouldn't you suppose that most in need of rescuing aren't???? Ladies and Gentlemen...we've elected a massive bunch of idiots who don't know how to focus on the most important issues at hand. We're trying to rescue everything in the world without addressing the most important issue. People NEED jobs. Well, I don't know about you, but I feel so much better knowing we've ear-marked money for the 2010 census...then we'll really know how many people are unemployed.

BORROWED FROM DIMES' BLOG

If Mohammad won't go to the mountain, the mountain will come to Mohammad, or something like that. I laughed so hard at my nephew's blog that I got teary-eyed. He has a great sense of humor, but sadly, some of this rings a little too true. I asked his permission to share it with my readers. If you want to follow his offerings, you can find him at The Ballad of Dimes McDropperson

What's in line for '09!
Here in Iraq , we are an hour away from 2009 and I though I would make some predictions for the upcoming year. It can’t possibly suck as much as last year…. Or can it?

January – Barrack Obama’s inauguration goes off without a hitch. The media broadcasts the fresh, young President as a savior to lead this county out of the darkness caused by President Bush. By February, his weak stance with Iran not only allows for them to continue to produce nuclear weapons, but also to move three brigades of troops into Syria for “Training Exercises” along the Israeli border. OPEC will cut oil production once again, citing “regional instability,” driving the price per gallon of gas up to 5$ in the US . The Media blames it all on President Bush’s “failed” foreign policy.

February – Israel decides to quell their other issues, as to concentrate on the Iranian troops amassed at the Syrian border. When Ehud Olmert is finally displaced, the Israelis re-elect former Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, believing he will bring with him a tougher stance on those who provoke Israel . In his second day in office, a rock is thrown at an Israeli troop near the Gaza fence line. By sundown, after an Israeli assault, the Gaza Strip ceases to exist. The Media blames it all on President Bush’s “failed” foreign policy.

March – an illegal immigrant in the Arizona desert, after being startled by a Border Patrol agent, trips and falls, hitting his head on one of the 100,000 new water fountains installed for their safety. He then sues the Homeland Security Department for 500 million dollars. The Democratic Congress temporarily suspends the law enforcement power of the Border Patrol. The population of the US grows 20% and the population of Mexico falls 45% by months end. The Media blames it all on President Bush’s failed foreign policy.

April – A student at a Los Angeles middle school pulls a knife on his teacher. When the teacher restrains the student and disarms him, his parents are outraged. They launch a lawsuit against the school district and the teacher for violating the illegal immigrant student’s right to bear arms. The family wins and the teacher is jailed for abusing a minor. The Media blames it on President Bush’s “No child left behind” act.

May – At a High School in San Francisco, a student is not allowed to graduate. The student skipped 50% of his classes and failed most of them. The parents of this illegal immigrant, homosexual student are outraged and sue the school district. The parents eventually win, the student graduates and has a scholarship to Stanford University , paid for by the School District . He never shows up. Once again, the Media blames it on President Bush’s “No child left behind” act.

June – I am fired from my company and kicked out of Iraq when I fail to kneel in prayer. President Obama’s general order for the military to participate in all aspects of Iraqi life, as to not offend their culture makes, this a requirement. As I learn that I am being terminated, and failing UCMJ action, I run through the streets of Baghdad (In the green zone, of course) with a pound of bacon around my neck, wearing only my Chelsea boots, sunglasses and toting an Israeli flag. I spend 4 months in Germany recovering from multiple gunshot wounds. The Media blames it on…… you know the deal…

July – Russia decides it is time to take back the territory lost in 89 with the fall of the USSR . The offensive takes back Latvia, Belarus, Lithuania, Estonia, Poland and the Ukraine. The United Nations, as always, asks the United States to stop the Russian Offensive. President Obama calls for economic sanctions and a meeting with Russian President Medvedev. At the meeting, Obama trades Estonia for Alaska and 2 Islands in Hawaii . Guess who the Media blames?

August – The dollar falls to a record low at $4.13 against the Euro. Mexico lobbies the US Government for financial aid, citing that the US dollar funneled into Mexico through illegal immigrants is not enough to sustain their economy. President Obama allocates 1.3 Trillion dollars in foreign aid, 98% of which goes to Mexico .

September – All US Troops are withdrawn from Afghanistan and Iraq. Within two weeks, Al Qaeda regains control in Iraq, slaughtering thousands who complied with the “Infidels.” They immediately form an alliance with Iran and now have unlimited funding for training and weapons. Israel readies its nukes. President Obama, under constant pressure from George Clooney, Ben Affleck, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, re-deploy the troops into Darfur to suppress the warlords currently in place. The Military does this in three days and President Obama allocates them as a peace keeping force under UN control.

October – In the first nuclear aggression since 1945, Pakistan becomes a parking lot when India grows tired of the bickering. India then loses thousands of soldiers to radiation poisoning after sending them into what used to be Pakistan to try to rescue sick or injured cows. In Canada, the French influence, looking for an economic boost, allows permission for the Russian military to use the open lands of British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan and Manitoba for mobilization exercises.

November – In a desperate move for cash, Mexico invites Iran and Venezuela to train its military in the desolate regions north of Mexico City . The United States finds itself surrounded, sitting between Russian and Iranian/Al Qaeda military elements. With 90% of the United States Military is currently deployed in Darfur, the US only has two Brigades of National Guard members left. The National Guard members are called in from the California Desert , where they were sent by Congress to set up a perimeter fence around the entire Mojave Desert to protect the Joshua Tree and other vegetation.

December – The US economic outlook is bleak, there is no control at the borders and the America is looking at a two front war with no Military to fight it. As the Russians and Iranians start preparing for mobilization, President Obama receives a letter which states.

Dear Obama,

We told you so…

Signed,
George W. Bush
Dick Cheney
Condoleezza Rice
Donald Rumsfeld
Gen. David Petraeus, US Army (Ret.)