Your attitude is the outer expression of your inner feelings.

     You can discipline your mind to take charge of your thoughts. Your attitude is simply the outer expression of your inner feelings.

1. Get Angry ~ It might sound strange, but getting angry about where you are is actually a very good thing.

     It's only when we get upset about something that we feel any motivation to change it. If you're not mad that it's broken, why bother fixing it?

     Don't lose hope if you feel unsettled and unhappy with a part of your life. That's a good sign, a sign that you're getting ready to make a change.

2. Build the Muscle ~ Taking action is like a muscle; it's a skill that must be built and strengthened over time.

     So I want you to build it. Start small. Set mini-goals for yourself, small tasks you can do in just a few minutes.

     Then, when the time comes to do something truly important, the habit of action you need will be there, ready to move you.

3. Strike When the Iron is Hot ~ Often, the moment bursting with the most drive and excitement is in the beginning, when a goal or idea first comes to mind.

     Your juices are flowing. Your mind is spinning with possibilities. A better life is just around the corner.

     This is when you need to get moving. Right in that instant. When the idea comes to you, take a step toward fulfilling it. Putting it off will only let that energy fade away.

4. Clothes Do Matter ~ The way you dress affects the way you feel.  The way you feel affects the way you act.

     Many at-home entrepreneurs make themselves dress for work each day as if they were heading to the office. By putting on the clothes of a successful CEO, they in turn carry themselves that way. They dress, then act the part.

     So dress the way you want to act. If you want to feel confident, wear clothes that make you feel confident. If you want to feel motivated, dress like someone who takes decisive action.

5. Get Organized ~ Plain and simple: A cluttered desk or home or office makes for a cluttered mind.  Get clear. Get focused. Get organized.

     You'll create a state of mind that is not only relieved from all the clutter, but also ready for action.

6. Discomfort, Anyone?  Do something that makes you uncomfortable at least once a week. Once a day if you're ambitious.  Why?

     Because most of our goals push us to do things we don't normally do, to say things we don't normally say. That can be scary, so most people don't do it.

     But if you force yourself into uncomfortable situations (talking to a stranger, for instance), you'll get good at pushing past your comfort zone. You'll also realize the world doesn't end when you do the things that scare you.

7. Who Did This?  You're unique, no question about it. Even so, I have a feeling someone out there has been in your shoes. They shared your struggle and your dream, and they found a way.

     Instead of reinventing the wheel and going at this alone, why not reach out to those people and find out how they did it?

     If you want to be a multi-published author, reach out to someone who already did it. If you want to start a business, email an entrepreneur. If you want to love your job, find someone who changed careers and adores the new direction.

8. Get It in Writing ~ I used to keep everything in my head. To-do lists, business ideas, schedules...everything I thought of or about squeezed its way into an already crowded space.  And it drove me crazy.

     I was constantly going through mental lists, making sure I wasn't missing something important. Then I decided to empty my head of it all. I typed it into the computer and felt instant relief and clarity.

     If your head is swirling with thoughts and ideas, write them all down on paper or record them all onto your computer.  Free your mind. You'll thank me.

     Now is time to make a different choice. To take responsibility for your attitude and where you are right now. Breathe deeply and make a commitment to choose something that serves you better. This is about the best story ever written - YOURS! Why not pull out all the stops and make it the way you want it to be?

Ginger's Sunday Sampler from Gail Roughton

I sort of fell off the wagon last week.  Hubby and I both were feeling our age.  He hurt his back and I sprained something in my ankle.  We both slept most of the weekend away so we didn't have to think about how old we've gotten.  :)  Anyhow, I'm back this week with an offering from a great story I'm reading, War-N-Wit, Inc - Resurrection.  If you like witches and warlocks, you've got to grab this one. This is the second in Gail Roughton's War-N-Wit series:

Blurb:

Resurrection. A secret society. Not everyone can join, just the elite few who remember their past lives. Only the Seer knows if those memories are truth or fabrication. There’s just one problem. The new Seer is missing in action. War-N-Wit’s new assignment is a blast from the past! But whose past?

Excerpt:

The honeymoon was over.  And a damn good thing, too.  As honeymoons go, this one had been a killer.  Almost for real.

I glared down at my husband.  Officially, we'd been married five days.  Unofficially, well--let's just say we'd been together a lot longer than that.  Through eternity, in fact.

"The doctor said you needed to stay at least three days!  So if you think you're walking out of this hospital within thirty-six hours of almost bleedin' to death, you got another think coming Magic Man!"

He flung the white hospital bedcovers back with his right arm, at up and swung his legs off the bed.  He was good, I'll give him that.  I doubt anybody but me would've noticed the white tinge around his lips or the faint grimace when his left arm and shoulder moved.  Then again, nobody but me could feel the sting from the torn flesh around the bullet hole in his shoulder.

I said we'd been together through eternity, didn't I?  Well, there's some side benefits to this "eternal couple" thing.  This time around, it seemed we didn't just know what the other was feeling.  We felt it.

The soreness wasn't so bad.  I knew it was there and I could keep it at a distance.

Occasionally, my foot still remembered the healing knife wound through his foot--a souvenir of our wedding trip to Vegas last week.  That is, our combination wedding trip coupled with hauling in the ho and pimp who'd skipped bail.  A little side business that hadn't gone quite as planned.  Still, not everybody could say they'd gotten married on a motorcycle in the White Chapel's Tunnel of Love Drive-Thru.

***
This author has a way of writing that makes you feel part of the story from the get go.  I've just started the book myself, and I can't wait to get back to it, so excuse me for cutting this short.  Guess you'll have to get your own copy to find out what happens to this snappy hero and heroine.  You can find it on Amazon.

All The Reasons Why I Don't Have An Agent

Note from Ginger:
If you feel like you've seen part and parcel of this post, it's not your imagination.  I'm "revamping" some of my more worthy offerings since I'm getting ready for my last summer vacation. I've changed it up a tad, but the information is still most useful (and amusing in some spots):

Literary Agents

It's no wonder that we often feel like our manuscript has a black cloud hanging over it. If you spend a day reading agent blogs and websites, I guarantee you'll end up more confused than when you started.

Month's ago, Writer's Digest provided a list of "What Agents Hate." For the sake of brevity and maintaining your sanity, I'm going to quote only a handful:

On Prologues...
"Most agents hate prologues. Just make the first chapter relevant and well written." Andrea Brown (Andrea Brown Literary Agency)

"Prologues are usually a lazy way to give backstory chunks to the reader and can be handled with more finesse throughout the story. Damn the prologue, full speed ahead!" Laurie McClean (Larsen-Pomada Literary Agents)

Ginger's Comment: Okay...I guess that blows the theory that prologues help set up the story for the reader. Scratch Beside Myself for me...it starts out from the perspective of my serial killer, and White Heart, Lakota Spirit tells you how my white captive got to be one.  So much for listening to my critique peers who believe a well-written prologue can provide useful information to set up the story.  Dang!

On Descriptions...
"I dislike endless 'laundry list' character descriptions. For example: 'She had eyes the color of a summer sky and long blonde hair that fell in ringlets past her shoulders. Her petite nose was the perfect size for her heart-shaped face. Her azure dress--with the empire waist and long, tight sleeves--sported tiny pearl buttons down the bodice. Ivory lace peeked out of the hem in front, blah blah, blah.' Who cares! Work it into the story." Laurie McClean (same as above).

"Slow writing with a lot of description puts me off very quickly. I like a first chapter that moves quickly and draws me in so I'm immediately hooked." Andrea Hurst, Andrea Hurst Literary Management

"Avoid any description of the weather." Denise Marcil, Denise Marcil Literary Agency

Ginger's Comment: Now I'm really confused. I do agree that the descriptive example above is tiresome and far more than I need to know all in one breath, but editors insist that you let the readers get to know the characters. I suppose the secret is doing it in small increments that don't bore Ms. McClean. As far as Ms. Hurst...don't we all like a chapter that hooks us immediately? See Mr. Lazar's comments about 'cheesy versus convoluted' hooks below. Which would you prefer? And... I guess Ms. Marcil isn't interested in weather reports, although sometimes if your heroine is caught in a storm and her nipples are exposed through her wet tee-shirt, it's rather hard to explain it to the reader without a little explanation about the rain. I guess all those sun-tanned heroes are shot to hell, and there goes my short story entitled, Hurricane Warning. Gads, I just can't win.

On Action...
"A cheesy hook drives me nuts. They say 'Open with a hook to grab the reader. That's true, but there's a fine line between an intriguing hook and one that's just silly. An example of a silly hook would be opening with a line of overtly sexual dialogue. Or opening with a hook that's just too convoluted to be truly interesting." Daniel Lazar, Writer's House

Note from Ginger: I guess the dilemma for the writer is to figure out which one Mr. Lazar considers cheesy and which one is too convoluted. One person's cheese is another's salami...or something like that.

On Cliches...
"I don't want to read about anyone sleeping, dreaming, waking up or staring at anything." Ellen Pepus, Ellen Pepus Literary Agency

Note from Ginger: Wow, that rules out anything I've written. I'm quite certain that somewhere in each of my books, my hero or heroine has stared at something, and I'm pretty sure they weren't awake during the entire time either. No dreaming either? She's a tough one.

No adventures that turn out to be a dream, no death of the main character in chapter one (does anyone really do that?), no descriptions that make the hero/heroine too perfect, no inauthentic dialogue, no stories that open on the protagonist's mental reflection, no information dumps in the first few pages, no cliches, no predicable openings (would you like some cheese with that?), and never, never have your heroine awaken to find a strange man in her bedroom and find him attractive. *lol* I have to agree with Kristin Nelson (Nelson Literary Agency) on the last one. She says she'd be reaching for a weapon instead of admiring the view, and I'm with her. Handsome or not, stay out of my bedroom in the middle of the night. (Unless of course you're Tom Selleck and you've finally considered my offer.)

Oh my gosh, the hate list goes on and on. My question...what exactly makes these opinions valid? I could announce that I've become a literary agent, but that doesn't immediately make me an expert. I'd have to build a reputation by selling the work of authors to mainstream publishers and learn what they require. I haven't the time to research those named in the article, and other than Kristin Nelson, I've not heard of them. Unfortunately, I've seen her name on a few rejections of mine. For reasons even I don't understand, she's the agent I'd love to have. My chances of being in the Olympics seem just as likely as landing a deal with her. In fact, I've been watching the Olympics and have yet to see me.  *lol*

A fellow author responded to a cover caption on a particular writer's magaine... "28 agents who want your work." She sent an email to one of those listed and received a lightning response that he was not taking on new authors. You just can't believe what you read these days. I suppose the other twenty-seven are busy, too.

Okay, some may say I wrote this because I'm jealous because I don't have an agent. At the time I first posted this on my blog, I was, but not anymore.  The ebook industry has taken off like wildfire.  I'm with a publisher I adore, and I finally feel like a true PAID author. I wouldn't turn down an agent who was willing to take a chance on me, but I just don't see it happening. The number of authors submitting each day far exceeds the agents likely to take them on. Given the limited number of releases by mainstream companies, my chances are nil. Besides, I've had two agents so far...one left the profession because of family obligations and the other landed me a nightmare of a deal with an e-publisher that I could have gotten on my own. See why I'm skeptical?

I wanted a copy of one of my books in a real brick and mortar store more than anything.  It's still a dream, but one that came true if only for a minute.

 Okay, okay...so I carried it in underneath my coat, took a picture and left.  So sue me.  I got some weird looks, but I had my moment at Walmart.

And just in case you want to read any of my work and see which faux pas I've made, you can find everything on my Author's page at Amazon.  BTW, Sisters in Time is now called Time Tantrums...with a new cover and reworked.  I love my time-travel, and I hope you will too.

PRACTICE POSITIVE SELF-TALK

     Choice #5- Change your thought patterns - We can control our thoughts, and our feelings come from our thoughts. We can control our feelings by learning to change one thing: The way we think.

     *Practice positive self-talk. The biggest change I made within myself – before I could say, “I have a great positive attitude,” is self-talk.  Self-talk is the conversation you have with yourself. Your mind is powerful, especially the subconscious mind. It doesn't know the difference between what is real and what is imagined. So, tell it, "I am intelligent, confident and strong." The subconscious mind will always agree with you. Once your mind agrees, then it begins encouraging you down a path that leads only to success.

     Did you know that you can increase your chances of success by consciously choosing the right words? It's true! Let's say you're motivated, excited even, to create change in your life. You've even gone so far as to put your well-formed goals down in writing. From there, you've determined your first steps to begin the process of writing your first novel. You've got enormous enthusiasm and know exactly what it is you' re going to do. You choose your goal tomorrow, and then inadvertently cripple your success before you even start. You say, "I'll try."

     What does "I'll try" mean? It means you've given yourself an out. Should some obstacle surface, you now have a built-in escape route that gets you off the hook. The word presupposes failure. It lacks intention and confidence. You are sowing doubt in your own mind. It says, "Alright, I'll give it a go, but I can't really see it working out."

     Now observe what it feels like to say "I am". For example, "I am now committed to feeling good by honoring my decision to write 20 minutes today." If it doesn't feel right, then you've selected a goal that is something other than your natural first step. Back up and find the action step you are ready to undertake. It doesn't matter how small and insignificant it may seem at the time. You' re better off starting with something teeny- tiny and achieving success, than starting with something you already know you're not ready for. The wise Lao-Tzu once stated, "A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step." Make sure you are able to complete your first step.

     Once you find a plan of action that is doable, forget trying to do it. To try to do something is to not do it. Instead, declare whole-heartedly, "I am now achieving this!"

     Make your success inevitable. Of course, you need to be aware that the alternative is also true. If you tell your mind that you are dumb, careless, and insecure, your mind with encourage you with these thoughts.

     Choice #6- Say daily affirmations. Repeat to yourself constantly: “I have the ability to accomplish all my goals.”  Repeat again and again. Don't stop. Before long you will believe it. Once something is recorded in the subconscious, it stays there.

     Claude Bristol, author of The Magic of Believing, says, "Repeated suggestion acts directly on our emotions and our feelings. It's the repeated suggestion that makes you believe."

     How often should you say your affirmations? I recommend saying them: * At the beginning of each day -- before you get out of bed * At the end of every day, before going to sleep and when you hear a negative comment from yourself or others * Any time you have doubts about your abilities- repeat your affirmations.

     Choice #7- Continually choose to have a right attitude - The hardest thing about milking cows is, ‘they never stay milked’ observed a farmer. Similarly, attitudes often don’t stay changed. The initial stages are often the most difficult. Old habits die hard. You have to guard yourself mentally. Once new habits begin to take root, new challenges spring up. They have to be associated with the right choices. Finally, in the last stages, complacency can become the enemy.

     Just like writing on schedule, and then falling back into old habits and getting too busy to write.

     No one but you can determine what you will think, your growth and how you will act. Now take control and begin the exciting journey of attitude improvement.

     When a person is in a depressed mood, everything can seem depressing. So shake them off those feelings and replace them with good thoughts.

     Choice #8- Create a circle of positive people and motivators. Negativity is a virus. It penetrates healthy thoughts and feelings. Shut your mind to people's negativity. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can say anything to hurt me, unless I allow them to.”   Don’t let someone or something affect your attitude toward yourself or your situation.

     Yes, old feelings from the past can be triggered by others around you, but it is your decision or choice as to how you will let it affect you. To help you in this stage, know your hot buttons, examine why they affect you, change your thinking about these buttons and take charge of your present and your future.

     Gather Your Personal Motivators ~ What books motivate you? What movies inspire you? What people, places, or things make you want to do the things you say you want to do?

     We all have them, though few people take the time to identify in particular what they are. 

     I want you to go a step further. I don't want you to merely name the things that motivate you--I want you to gather them into one place and create a motivation station of sorts.

     When you find something that excites or inspires you, you've found gold. You can't let that slip to the side. You need to capture it so you can return to it whenever you need hope, encouragement, or confidence.

     Having a positive attitude is a choice. Plain and simple.  It starts with changing your life. That might appear to be a heavy task that takes months or even years.  But, in truth, it all starts with a small step in the right direction.

     We are confronted daily with situations, words, outcomes that force us to choose a response. That response is based decidedly on your attitude. Attitude is the difference between winning the battles, but losing the war.

     How many times have you realized that your attitude saved a business deal, a relationship, or your life?

     Your attitude whether positive or negative is one of the few things in this world that we have total control over. We have the power to open or close our minds to failures, pessimistic people, and past conditions. 

Ginger's Special Day

Hard to believe that sixteen years ago today, I said "I do" for the second time in my life.  After being married for thirty-two years, the last thing I ever dreamed would happen was divorce, but sometimes, as you all well know, life takes twists and turns we can't see coming.  I lucked out...I found a keeper the second time around, and although I will always love my first husband, Jack Daniels stole him away from me.  Hubby number one passed away not long ago, and I still cry when I hear "our song", but having Kelly in my life is a blessing beyond compare...okay, sometimes he's a pain, but he's mine.  *lol*

In February, another blog held a contest of "firsts."  I happen to have won the contest, and I thought since today is a special day for me, I'd share one of the entries that helped me win the Valentine's Day event:

First Touch

The music blared and the dance floor grew crowded with couples, but I still sat on a stool, hunching over the elevated table in a room lit by the multicolored lights overhead. A half-empty glass sat in front of me, a symbol of how I'd begun to view life.  Someone had changed the dating rules during the past thirty-something years and I wasn't very prepared to face the new generation.  My mother would be aghast if she knew were I was.

I'd already turned down several invitations to dance, and pondered going home.  I must have been suffering diminished capacity when I came to this single's dance by myself.  I'd tried for months to get my friend to come, but she always had an excuse.  

My gaze wandered the room, and my stomach churned at the assortment of men still looking for partners.  No one there appealed to me on that all important "chemistry" level...especially the guy with 'Donald Trump' comb-over, or the one with gold chains to rival Mr. T.  Evidently, they were as ill-prepared for dating as I felt.

Then, I noticed him.  Standing against across the room, one knee crooked, his cowboy boot firmly against the wall.  The term, "where have you been all my life" came to mind...at least, where had he been for the past two horrible hours I'd suffered conversing with jerks.  He wore a white shirt with long sleeves rolled up to his elbows, black jeans, boots, and had hair.  When he looked my way, I dipped my chin and stared into my lap.  I didn't want him to think me bold.

"Just go home," a little voice niggled at me, but I couldn't stop sneaking glances at my new discovery.  He was dangerously close to the door and looked as disappointed as I felt.  I stood, and chewed my bottom lip.  Should I go, or should I be that bold person I denied a few minutes ago?  What the hell?  I'd come this far, why not ask him to dance? If he said 'no,' I'd probably never see him again.

My heart thudding, I hitched my purse strap up on my shoulder and ambled across the room, trying to assume comfort I didn't feel.  "Excuse me," I said, tapping him on the shoulder.  "If I asked you to dance with me, would you say yes?"  At this point, I felt like a passenger on the Titanic.

He turned powder blue eyes to me, and grinned from beneath a full and well-trimmed mustache.  "Of course."  

He held out his hand.  My name's Kelly, what's yours?"

"Ginger."  I grasped his palm, and maybe it wasn't just the touch of his skin against mine, or the smile he flashed, but he stirred butterflies I thought long dead.  Touch alone, perhaps not, but the twinkle in his eyes coupled with the roughness of a man's hand, and the way he took me in his arms told me I might have found what I'd been looking for.  Thank God, I didn't listen to that little voice who told me to leave.

 

***

 

Actually we've been together seventeen years, and I'm still trying to figure out how I got so old.  *lol* Kelly is a little younger than I, but my plan is to nag him until he turns gray and we look the same age.  I think it's working.  :)