Friday, May 30, 2014

Friday Freebits with Ginger - #frifeebits #blogshare

Hi and welcome to another Friday of my sharing six paragraphs from a WIP.  I'm currently redoing a humorous book and hoping to find a new home for it.  The first offering was a nightmare...totally non professionally edited, and written like the amateur I was at the time.  I know this time, if I'm lucky enough to find someone to give it a go, this story will be much more entertaining and a better read.

So...without further ado, I'll pick up where I left magical day at the amusement park with my sisters.

To say I was thrilled when the day at Magic Mountain ended was an understatement.  I'd bought new jeans for the occasion and felt like I was in a body cast.  Just outside the gates, we waited to board the tram to the parking lot, and like everyone else in the exiting crowd, we had to scurry for a seat.  I was trying to get aboard when my bad knee gave out (old baseball injury from my younger years), and I'm pretty sure it was triggered by the tiptoe ride.

 Anyhow, there I was, dangling from the tram like a Raggedy Ann, grasping the safety pole and begging my youngest sister to help me.  She thought I was joking! funny does someone want to be?  So, I vividly recall splatting on the ground, detaining the tram while hundreds of tired and grumpy people looked on while someone summoned an ambulance...and of course the degradation that followed. Honestly, people who have trekked through an amusement park all day, kept their crying children up past their bedtime and are eager to get home can be so inconsiderate.

 For God's sake, did they really think I wanted to hit the asphalt like a ton of bricks?  I heard them complaining, and I started to wish I had gone on the wooden coaster and met with a less embarrassing end.  As if I didn't feel bad enough, the bulging veins in the necks of the EMTs who lifted me onto a stretcher put the cap on the evening.  Honestly, I wanted my pants off, but not cut to pieces and made into rags.  I had to keep telling them which knee was the swollen one, but I had a feeling they could have cared less. was my plan from the beginning to become a Six-Flag casualty in front of hundreds of people, and then have two handsome men see me in my granny panties while they paid scant attention to me and flirted with my sisters.  You won't find anything to do with amusement parks on my bucket list.

Now for a joke:

An older couple were in bed one night.  The husband was nearly asleep, but was wife was feeling a little frisky and wanted to 'talk.'

"You know," she said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily, he reach across and grasped her hand for a second, hoping to placate her before dozing off.

A few minutes later, her voice sliced the silence.  "And then, you used to kiss me."

Mildly irritated by this time, he leaned across and gave her a quick peck on the cheek and once again settled down prepared to slumber.

Not even thirty-seconds later, she pulled him from his comfort again.  "And then, you used to nibble on my neck."

He ripped back the covers and got out of bed.

"Where are you going?"  she asked.

"To get my damn teeth." time, I either need to expand this chapter or start a new one based on my old, Living La Vida Loca.  See you next Friday, I hope.

In the meantime, hope on over to my friends and see what they're offering to entertain you:

Jamie Hill
Roseanne Dowell
Tricia McGill
Juliet Waldron
Sydell Voeller
Taryn Raye
Kathy Fischer-Brown
Rhobin Lee Courtright

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