Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Shopping in the Scratch and Dent Aisle

Woe is me. The refrigerator picked 10:00 pm to take a dump. That meant the endless line of people carrying food and frozen goods through my designated living quarters (the direct route to the garage) was continuous while Papa tried to sleep. His anger management meds aren't working well these days, so I shuddered that the troops might wake him. Luckily, he slept through the perishable goods transfer from the deceased refrigerator to the one we expected to die.

So, yesterday I spent the morning perusing local merchants for clearance sales or good prices. I left the eldest of my DILS children in charge, warning him to stay off the computer and Play Station lest we have a repeat performance of Spencer emptying the entire contents of one closet onto the floor. Ever had to pick up 5000 legos and separate the cards from ten different games back into their own decks? How about crawling around to gather all those little bitty plastic bulbs from Lightbright? Not how I want to spend other half day.

So, I warily set off on my appointed mission. It became mine since I'm the only one with money left from my check to stimulate the economy. It was expected of me. I couldn't let President Bush down.

I ended up in the 'scratch and dent' aisle in the Sear's outlet. I refused assistance as I was only looking. I couldn't possibly make the decision without my DIL even though I found a great buy at $599 with very little visible damage. What I saw was on the side and would be hidden against the stove, but I fear her wrath. Did it matter that I was the paying party? No, she's the kind who looks a gift horse in the mouth...checks for cavities, then has the horse shot.

So, at 5:00 pm, with the full entourage assembled (three adults, three children), we trooped back to the store. Very quickly, their interest in my selection waned as they eyed the line of Stainless Steel refrigerators. My heart sank. Fingerprints! Smudges! And what's worse...the price goes up. The one I liked didn't measure the water as you filled your glass. The ice receptable wasn't in the door, instead back in the freezer. The white one with the easy-to-clean surface didn't have the 'instant chill' section. You know for the wine glasses we use for all those parties we host. And I guess we really need a 'door ajar' alert. We went from $599 to $834 in a heartbeat...and for one with a huge DENT! Oh my God, save me. It's up there in the kitchen right now, taunting me.

I kept wandering back to the white one, hoping they'd follow. Of course in between shouts of: "Karyll, get your brother out of that freezer right now!" "Zachery, stay off the treadmill. Those are for adults." "No Spencer, you can't ride the lawn mower, and how can you possibly need to pee again," I felt I was losing my mind. I think my son and his wife have on blinders and earplugs but I can't prove it.

Yes, I caved. I spent $955 (tax included) on a refrigerator I abhor. The inside is awesome, but the DENT! You can't even stick magnets on stainless steel. Until this morning it was empty and already had hand prints all over it. Now I've filled it, I can hardly wait to see how it looks by afternoon. The upside...if any one of the three children go missing God forbid, we'll have their fingerprints intact.

As I sit here pondering my life, I'm really confused why they call your senior years 'golden'. I have no home of my own, instead live with my son and his wife so I can be caretaker for my grandson. I Constantly tiff with my husband, who's jealous over the time I spend with a five-year-old, have inherited my DIL's two sons from a previous marriage for the summer because she works all day, and gone from having a clutter-free, seemingly clean home to living with people who don't bend at the waist to wipe up spills or pick up their clothes. They leave fifteen pairs of shoes in a heap in the middle of the room...right next to a shoe rack and save dirty glasses in their bedroom until the cupboard is empty. I don't want to say this too loudly, but I think I heard the washing machine groan last night when I finished the tenth load of clothes. It could have just been my echo. Dunno!

Right now, Karyll is upstairs on the computer without his mother's permission. He's walking a fine line between death and life because if he touches the screen, she'll know he was there. It hasn't been dusted in months. *lol* Zach is on the Play Station while Spencer screams because he can't have a turn. The kitchen cabinet is covered with Thomas the Train and all the vehicles from Cars, the floor is littered with transformers. We're still in the training stages for picking up our toys. I guess I have to go and instill another lesson if I plan to fix their lunch. Oh hell, maybe I'll just let fend for themselves. That DENT is up there waiting for me.

Golden, smolden. I'm sort of hoping this is my ticket to heaven. I'm already had a good dose of hell! *lol*


Anita Davison said...

Fantaic Blog - but you forgot the stupid name bit!!!!! Which I won't mention as there could be a good reason....Anita

Estella said...

Great blog, Ginger!
I don't think I would be as cool about things as you are.

Ginger Simpson said...

I'm not as cool as I appear. The doctor once told me I'm like a rubber band...I just stretch, and stretch and stretch...and we all know what happens eventually. *lol*
I love that you comment. Thanks!


Molly Daniels said...

We got a new fridge ten years ago that had the ice maker. For whatever reason, my kids were fascinated with the feature, and kept 'ice collections' (kiddie cups filled with ice) on one of the shelves.

Breathe, grandma...breathe...

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