Times Have Changed

I've always been very fond of Christmas... it's my favorite holiday. But it's not easy to be festive when you live with scrooge and his friends. Where once I trekked through the tree farm to find the biggest and fullest tree there, now I'm relegated to a small, artificial one that is probably enjoying it's last year since the lights are built in.

I cling to ornaments that are dear to me because they were given by friends, or I found them in a specialty shop and thought they were different, but I still mourn for the ones lost when my ex and I divorced. I was in the hospital when the house sold, and he moved out and left all my special things behind...my ornaments, my expensive nativity given to me, my high school year books. All those things you can't replace.

I recall the plaster hand my oldest son painted in kindergarten...the pictures of them encased in special frames that marked each year, the little dough ones I made and me and the boys painted together...they're gone now, along with all those memories my ornaments held for me. I take delight in seeing the tree my DIL puts together for her children. It's filled with the same sort of memories I lost, but the delight I see in my grandson's eyes dulls the pain and reminds me what is really important.