Monday, April 11, 2011

Loving Two Men

Can you really love two men at once?  Of course you can.  Love comes in different varieties and strengths.  I never understood when people who got divorced prefaced their leaving with, "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you."  I finally "got i"t  when I made a decision to leave a husband of thirty-two years.

He fathered two sons, supported us financially, and was faithful until Jack Daniels became a mistress with whom I couldn't compete.  That didn't erase my love for him, I simply moved on.  We remained friends over the past fifteen years, and a whole month never passed that he didn't call and remind me how beautiful I was and that I would always be the love of his life.  Well, I'll never hear those words again, because he died yesterday.

I cried until I had no more tears, then saved up some and cried some more.  I spent the day, sifting through forty years of memories, recalling the good times instead of the bad.  I'm very fortunate that my current husband met and liked Dale, and held me when I cried.  I'd lost a big chunk of me because since H.S. I haven't been without Dale in my life in some way or another.  We've worked together to help our kids, and there have been times when he helped me.  He always felt he owed me something, but he didn't.  He was a wonderful man, and since there is going to be no funeral or memorial, I honor his memory with today's blog: Dale Wayne Jones, born March 7, 1945 and passed from this world on April 9th, 2011.  I'd like also to dedicate the following song to him, remembering how looking at him made my heart hurt, I loved him so.

8 comments:

Diane Scott Lewis said...

Ginger, what a beautiful tribute to your ex-husband, and the fact he kept in touch with you all those years after your divorce.
He must have been very special.

Carol Langstroth said...

Ginger, I am sorry for your loss but you did a great on honoring him today. It is a blessing that you were able to be friends with him after your divorce. It shows that you were able to forgive him and keep him in your and your sons lives. I admire you for being able to do that as not many could/would have. You both shared such a great love and I hope that comforts you at this time.

Cate Masters said...

So very sorry for your loss, Ginger. What a beautiful remembrance.

J Q Rose said...

Remembering all the good times helps to comfort the loss. You are fortunate to have such a relationship in your life. This is a moving tribute to him. Thinking of you and the family. God bless.

Anonymous said...

Both your men chose an amazing woman to share their lives with. Your saving salvation will be that you have no extra baggage of regrets to hold you back from living your life to the fullest. May God bless you and your sons. I am so sorry Ginger.

Roseanne Dowell said...

What a beautiful tribute and memorial. We never know what we had until its gone. It must have been very difficult to make that decision after 32 years. How different life would have been if he would have chose a different path. I'm so happy you have good memories and they'll be with you forever. You're so blessed to have two men who loved you and you shared your life with. You're in my prayers.

Audrey Shaffer said...

Ginger, I understand. I've been divorced for 16 years now, and my ex is still a close friend. The booze is his first love, but I know I'm still firmly in second place.

Let time and memories heal you. My prayers are with you and your children.

Dale Jones said...

Ginger, I am sorry for your loss. He had some good in him if he helped you after a divorce. So many men wouldn't give you the time of day. I remember the first time I emailed you, you told me about your ex thinking that it was an email from him. I've changed my email and it no longer includes the name of Dale Jones.
May God comfort you.
Dale Jones

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