Tuesday, November 13, 2012

QUESTIONS FOR WHICH PEOPLE HAVE NO "GOOD" ANSWERS



     Can you cry under water?
     How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
     Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going?
     Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
     Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
     What disease did cured ham actually have?
     Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
     If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
     Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

     Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
     Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway...

     Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

     Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

     If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

     If the professor on Gillian's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

     Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

     If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
     If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

     Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

     Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
     Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
     Why, Why, Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
     Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

     Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
     Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
     Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
     Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
     Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

     Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

     Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

     Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

     How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

     In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
     How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

4 comments:

Caroline Clemmons said...

Thanks for a smile, Ginger.

Ginger Simpson said...

Thanks for the credit, Caroline, but it all goes to Rita. Today's clever post belongs to her. :)

Ginger Simpson said...

Thanks for the credit, Caroline, but it all goes to Rita. Today's clever post belongs to her. :)

Roseanne Dowell said...

Great, Ginger. Love it.

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