54 Birthday Spankings...by Jamie 'Let's Get This Over With' Hill

Well that got your attention! But I haven't gotten a birthday spanking since I was in single digits, and that 'one to grow on' can stop any day now. 

I've been psyching myself up for my birthday because it's been such a hectic and busy summer. I've had many things happening on all fronts. I've been through manic mood swings varying from intensely happy to severely depressed and thought maybe I could nudge my way back to some semblance of normal by easing out of summer with a big birthday blow-out. Of course, the week hasn't gone as planned.

I can't blame that on my birthday, it's just life. And things will turn out okay, they always do. I simply have to relinquish control of the things I cannot change, much like the serenity prayer used by many twelve-step programs.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

*Sigh*

 

So far, 54 feels pretty much the same as 53. My family and friends have been great, I've been treated to breakfast, lunch and dinner already this week. I have absolutely nothing to complain about. Yet it's hard to squelch the tiny rumblings of dissatisfaction deep in my belly. 

I'm not sticking to my diet. I haven't been getting much writing done. The summer has come and almost gone, and I've made no progress. I'm stuck in the same spot I was at the end of May. 

It's hard to know when to be tougher on myself, and when to cut myself some slack. I know it's been a crazy busy summer. I know I'll get back on my eating program here shortly, without much damage done. I know my writing deadlines are my own, self-imposed schedules. I'm not in trouble. It's okay. It's all gonna be just fine. 

Deep down inside I know that. I just need to remember it.

Somebody smack me. One to grow on oughta do it. 

Have a great rest of the week.