Well that got your attention! But I haven't gotten a birthday spanking since I was in single digits, and that 'one to grow on' can stop any day now.
I've been psyching myself up for my birthday because it's been such a hectic and busy summer. I've had many things happening on all fronts. I've been through manic mood swings varying from intensely happy to severely depressed and thought maybe I could nudge my way back to some semblance of normal by easing out of summer with a big birthday blow-out. Of course, the week hasn't gone as planned.
I can't blame that on my birthday, it's just life. And things will turn out okay, they always do. I simply have to relinquish control of the things I cannot change, much like the serenity prayer used by many twelve-step programs.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
So far, 54 feels pretty much the same as 53. My family and friends have been great, I've been treated to breakfast, lunch and dinner already this week. I have absolutely nothing to complain about. Yet it's hard to squelch the tiny rumblings of dissatisfaction deep in my belly.
I'm not sticking to my diet. I haven't been getting much writing done. The summer has come and almost gone, and I've made no progress. I'm stuck in the same spot I was at the end of May.
It's hard to know when to be tougher on myself, and when to cut myself some slack. I know it's been a crazy busy summer. I know I'll get back on my eating program here shortly, without much damage done. I know my writing deadlines are my own, self-imposed schedules. I'm not in trouble. It's okay. It's all gonna be just fine.
Deep down inside I know that. I just need to remember it.
Somebody smack me. One to grow on oughta do it.
Have a great rest of the week.