Masculine Behavior for Believable Heroes (Part 2) by Connie Vines

Thank you for stopping by for Part 2 of last week’s Dishin’ It Out topic.

Men Make Decisions; Women Form a Consensus

Even though this what I’ve learned in human behavior classes and characterization workshops—this doesn’t hold true for me.  (Perhaps it part of my upbringing in a career military family, or because I am the eldest of five siblings.)  If I state a reason, or decide to explain myself, it is only out of politeness--I’ve already made up my mind.

Now, back to what is typical behavior.

Men state what they want.  Women make their preferences known and often add reasons for their requests.  The reasons are an attempt to convince the other party.  Men do not volunteer reasons.
If you ask a reason, men feel as if they’re being challenged or that you are checking up on them.

And, the behavior guaranteed to make either one/or both of the people involved crazed:

Men Try to Solve Problems; Women Talk About Problems

(I deviate from this too, I do not have the patience to ‘talk something to death.)

Men usually make a decision, act, and move on.  Women usually wallow in the problem before or instead of acting.  Men try to help others solve problems.  Women want to talk about the problems but not necessarily solve them.

Women listen to others to give support; Men listen to others to give advice.

And, TADA, here’s the part that makes partners/friends crazed :-).  A woman who talks to a man expects to receive emotional support, and instead she gets advice.  Women talk to feel better.  This drives a man crazy, if she is that miserable, why doesn’t she do something about it?

Men are Direct; Woman are Indirect

Men tend to make statements.  Women tend to ask questions and even multiple questions.  Men use shorter sentences and fewer of them.  Women use longer sentences and sentences that are more complex and string more of them together.

Women make suggestions rather than state their wishes.

Men’s Actions and Body Language Often Don’t Reflect Their Feelings; Women’s Usually Do

Men are direct when talking about concrete things, but indirect when speaking about emotional issues.  When forced to discuss emotional issues. Men may attempt to distance themselves by avoiding eye contact, slouching, or turning away.

Men tend to sprawl out while talking, especially about a serious subject.  Women tend to gather in. Men sit in relaxed sprawled positions with men or in mixed groups.  Women sit in sprawled positions with other women but sit upright in mixed groups.

I'd like to go into a little more about body language next week.

Stop by next week for Part Three!

Happy Reading and Writing,



Connie

BODY LANGUAGE GIVES TEXTURE AND DEPTH TO YOUR STORY - by Rita Karnopp

     Make your stories crackle with authority.  We are savvy enough to put sensations beyond sight and sound into our books . . . it’s the basic five senses, right!  The most gripping to me is the sense of smell.

     Let’s do a test.  Close your eyes … oh …. You’ll have to read this through and then try it!  Giggle.   Okay, again, close your eyes and imagine a lemon.  Imagine the clean, bright yellow lemon.  You grasp your knife and cut it in half.  Citrus scent fills the air as it squirts juicy liquid in every direction.  Bring the lemon to your mouth and take a large bit.  Did you shiver?  Did your mouth pucker? Did your tongue spasm from the mere thought? Did you smell it?  I’ll bet the answer to all those questions was a resounding YES, even though you were imagining it.

     Evoke these feelings, smells, tastes as you write. Whether it’s an onion, lemon, pine, or a pile of sh….!

     What are other ways to bring the senses alive?  Consider everything, for instance the weight of his jacket, or the blisters from his boot. How about the bitter blast of wind in his face or the cold, wet snow as it melted on his cheek?

     It’s always great to read about a character who allows you feel, smell, taste, hear, and see what he/she is experiencing.

     Not only do agents and editors love the five senses, but your readers do, too! Don’t forget the physical aspect of a story that deepens not just your setting, but also your characterizations.

     I’ve read that the key to this bit of story-telling is; the use of body language in your narrative. Strange as it may seem, we rarely talk about the use of body language when discussing the skills of writing.  I think that’s because it flows in the story and it’s almost unnoticed. When you think about it – body language gives texture and depth to your work. When it’s missing, a story falls flat.

     What exactly do we mean when we say to write with body language?  Two things are at the core; anxiety (or lack thereof) and hidden desires.  Analyze your characters internal constitution; upbringing, attitude, background, experience, highs and lows of life, and then understand and sense how they feel in any given situation.

Consider this:

Dylan leaned against a tree and exhaled warm air into the chilly night.

That doesn’t tell anything about the Dylan or his frame of mind. Make the action mean something and use the moment fully:

Dylan leaned heavy against the tree and scanned the dreary skyline. Nothing made sense since Lora died.

We learn something about what’s going on with Dylan here, without having to plow through an internal monologue from him or Lora.