Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Masculine Behavior for Believable Heroes (Part 2) by Connie Vines

Thank you for stopping by for Part 2 of last week’s Dishin’ It Out topic.

Men Make Decisions; Women Form a Consensus

Even though this what I’ve learned in human behavior classes and characterization workshops—this doesn’t hold true for me.  (Perhaps it part of my upbringing in a career military family, or because I am the eldest of five siblings.)  If I state a reason, or decide to explain myself, it is only out of politeness--I’ve already made up my mind.

Now, back to what is typical behavior.

Men state what they want.  Women make their preferences known and often add reasons for their requests.  The reasons are an attempt to convince the other party.  Men do not volunteer reasons.
If you ask a reason, men feel as if they’re being challenged or that you are checking up on them.

And, the behavior guaranteed to make either one/or both of the people involved crazed:

Men Try to Solve Problems; Women Talk About Problems

(I deviate from this too, I do not have the patience to ‘talk something to death.)

Men usually make a decision, act, and move on.  Women usually wallow in the problem before or instead of acting.  Men try to help others solve problems.  Women want to talk about the problems but not necessarily solve them.

Women listen to others to give support; Men listen to others to give advice.

And, TADA, here’s the part that makes partners/friends crazed :-).  A woman who talks to a man expects to receive emotional support, and instead she gets advice.  Women talk to feel better.  This drives a man crazy, if she is that miserable, why doesn’t she do something about it?

Men are Direct; Woman are Indirect

Men tend to make statements.  Women tend to ask questions and even multiple questions.  Men use shorter sentences and fewer of them.  Women use longer sentences and sentences that are more complex and string more of them together.

Women make suggestions rather than state their wishes.

Men’s Actions and Body Language Often Don’t Reflect Their Feelings; Women’s Usually Do

Men are direct when talking about concrete things, but indirect when speaking about emotional issues.  When forced to discuss emotional issues. Men may attempt to distance themselves by avoiding eye contact, slouching, or turning away.

Men tend to sprawl out while talking, especially about a serious subject.  Women tend to gather in. Men sit in relaxed sprawled positions with men or in mixed groups.  Women sit in sprawled positions with other women but sit upright in mixed groups.

I'd like to go into a little more about body language next week.

Stop by next week for Part Three!

Happy Reading and Writing,


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