"Classic Ginger" Do You Want a Husband or Need a Father?

I'm always amazed at the number of women who say, "My husband would never let me...(finish the sentence.)"

Just typing that quote makes me shiver.  I have always believed and do to this day, that marriage is a 50/50 arrangement.  I entered into a union as an adult and equal to my husband.  I asked my father for permission to do things because he was my parent and responsible for my actions until I became an adult, but I don't need to have permission from my husband to do whatever I wish.  Out of respect and kindness, I "check" my intentions with him to assure there is no problem, but to assume I need his permission is totally outside the realm of reality. I'm a grown woman.

I think this type of attitude transcends to the heroines in my books. I like women who have guts and aren't afraid to live life on their own terms.  Some of mine have withstood Indian attacks, mock rescues by the Cavalry,falling into a well, fighting a raging river, and in my current WIP, living life with someone threatening her with murder.  I've had reviewers call my female leads head-strong and spoiled, but I believe anyone who takes responsibility for their own decisions and stands strong against the grain can be considered spoiled if someone is viewing relationships from a parent/child aspect. If you look at an individual as a responsible and mature adult, you usually get a different outcome.

Main Character Acts Like a Spoiled Brat - A review for Ellie's Legacy

Another Review for Ellie's Legacy:  Although Ellie matured and realized her father was trying to do what was best for her, she acted like a brat for much of the time.

Review from Betrayed:  Although living a comfortable life financially, she wants to be loved and be in love. She meets Evan online and he sweeps her off her feet.

Review from Betrayed: Cassie is extremely trusting and let things happen too quickly. Evan took advantage of her at every turn and she suffered the consequences

A relationship should be a  sacred bond into which you enter with love and respect, not a means of binding someone to another's opinions and judgments.  In my humble opinion, separation happens when one party loses the respect of the other. Respect t is a big component in love...along with trust, and if you can't trust your partner to make their own decisions, there isn't much room for respect...or love.

In my novel, Betrayed, I wrote about Cassie Fremont, an independent woman who WAS a confident and self-supporting individual until she let a man steal her independence from her. Betrayed happened to be based on a true life experience with Internet dating, and the message I hoped to deliver resounded with the very person who lived through the entire ordeal.  Love is a wonderful thing, but none of us need validation to make us who we need to be.

Okay...this is my rant for the day.  Just remember, if you're talking to me on FB, don't ever indicate you have to seek your husband's approval.  *lol*

http://www.bookswelove.com/authors/simpson-ginger

Let me share with you how they catch monkeys.

     Imagine a wooden box 12” x 12” and the top opens because it has hinges. Imagine opening the box and setting a big, red juicy apply in the bottom of the box. Then imagine closing and locking it. Then, around to the side is a hole and it is big enough for the monkey to look inside and see the red, juicy apple. But the hole is small enough so the only way for the monkey to get inside the box is to squeeze his fingers inside the hole. Now imagine the monkey reaching inside the box and grabbing the red, juicy apple. Now the apple is in the palm of the monkey’s hand.

     However, there is a problem. As the monkey tries to pull his hand out of the box, he finds it doesn’t fit through the hole. The reason is because the apple is in the palm of the monkey’s hand. Now the monkey won’t let go of that apple for anything. As a result, the poacher comes in and kills the monkey. Now realize, all the monkey would have to do is let go of the apple and he’d be free, but he won’t let go. Soon he’s a dead monkey.
     This is a metaphor for people who just don’t discipline themselves to write. Usually there is something in your life that you need to let go. But, as a result of not letting it go, it remains a roadblock to your success. Ultimately it ends up hurting you.
     Talk with your writing group or friend and ask, ‘what am I not letting go of?’ Meaning; is it your fear, is it the security of knowing you can’t finish your book, you don’t have to worry about what to do next – once the book is finished or is it because you’re just lazy? Whatever the challenge is, for most people, they don’t open themselves up to themselves or their writing partners, to learn what is not allowing them to ‘let go of the apple.’ Ultimately, it leads to the death of your writing career.
     5. Growing as a person. You know people want to be successful to see their income grow and they want to grow, yet they’re not willing to make the sacrifices that it takes to develop new skill-sets, new beliefs, and new habits. They take the same ‘employee mentality’ and bring it to the environment where they write. I think we’ll all agree, that someone who is an international best selling author with over 30 million books in print has a different mind-set than one who hasn’t yet published a book or has one or two books to their credit. Which is all the more reason why we must grow as people.

     6. Under confidence. If only I was published, then I’d write more and have more confidence. Well, people…it’s a big myth. It’s about reaching your personal writing goal and you won’t reach it without giving 100% to the first book, then second book, etc. Don’t look at someone else’s success to measure your own or lack thereof.

Next Monday we’ll discuss what happens when people do things ‘consistently right.’

Hiking last spring . . . looking for geods . . . the hike was great but we didn't find any crystals.  We are going again this summer in hope of being more successful.