According to 46 offers in my SPAM box, the country is in dire need of CSI agents. As unbelievable as it seems, I could be solving crimes, collecting DNA and matching bullets in the same style as Gil Grissom in a very short time. Well, not really the same style...he's an actor, but he's leaving the CSI show. Maybe I could take his spot. Oh, but the offer was only to be a CSI agent. Shoot.
Maybe I should take Kaplan University up on any of their thirty odd invites to get a degree. Nah, I've already been in an educational setting for more years than I care to admit. It's totally over-rated. What would I do with a higher degree at this stage of my life. Become a brain-surgeon? Nope...I hate blood.
Hmmm, maybe I could respond to one of the fifty-three offers to try Pedi-paws. Who knew it would be so easy to clip a dog's nails. But then, I don't have a dog, so that's out.
Perhaps I should ditch my husband and try one of the 200 offers to join the Black Dating, Christian Dating or Sexy Singles sites. Maybe I could find someone with money this time around. *lol* No...it's taken me thirteen years to train him...I think I'll keep him, money or not.
I could always click on one of those offers to make money with Ebay or Craigslist, but I don't have anything to sell. I already tried listing one of my books and didn't get a single bid. That's pretty embarrassing. They say you can sell anything on ebay. Evidently not!
Okay, so I got a little carried away, but at least I've stopped harping on all the offers to cleanse my colon. I just never realized so many people were interested in my butt. Now I just have to figure out how to make them ALL go away. I had 653 SPAM messages in two days. Oy Vey!!!!
I guess since I stopped paying my bills through the mail and have gone ebills on most of the debts I owe...all those people who used to add those tons of annoying little flyers along with my invoices have to find some way to get back at me. Spam must be it.