Saturday, December 27, 2008

A Realistic Love Scene

Yesterday I queried HQ on a short, historical story that is supposed to be 'spicy.' I thought I WAS writing spicy by using a few 'buzz' words here and there, and it made me sweat, trying to come up with something creative. BUT...I shared it with my friend, Marie, who IS the Queen of Steam, and although she loved the story, she said it wouldn't fly. I know why!

It's hard to be inventive. I realize that there is a lot of ME in each of my stories, and I don't feel the least bit sexy...for reasons described in my previous blog. If I truly wrote what my mind sees when I think about sex scenes, it is highly doubtful that anyone would be swept away to anything but hysteria. Here's an example.

Moonlight filtered through the venetian blinds and highlighted him as he disrobed. He pulled his shirt over his head, then shimmied out of his pants. Her breath hitched. When had his stomach gotten so huge? *rofl*

OR

His breath warmed her neck as his lips trailed upward. He nibbled at her earlobe then raised up and gazed upon her face. His mouth, a few inches from hers, he licked his lips and drew closer.

She recoiled and rolled away. "Geez, I told you not to have onions on that burger. You reek."

OR
He entered her with a quick thrust. She gasped, feeling a sensation all too familiar. "God, get off me. Quick! I have a Charlie Horse in my leg!"

OR...last but not least....
Tonight was the night he'd waited for. They hadn't made love for a month and he was determined to sample her wares. Maybe more romance was needed. He hadn't been all that passionate or attentive of late. The moment was right. Everyone else was gone, nothing but the flickering TV lit the room. He slithered off the couch and crawled toward her chair. She appeared deep in thought,lost in the movie she watched. He inched closer and reaching her side, took her hand.

She jumped, then smiled. "What are you doing down there?"

"Come on." He raised to one knee. "Come to bed with me. I want to show you how much I love you."

She unfurled one leg from beneath her and nibbled her bottom lip. Tears glistened in her eyes. She offered her hand.

He took it and attempted to stand. A popping noise sliced the momentary silence between commercials. "Ow...my back!" He managed to get to his feet, but remained bent at the waist. With pain etched on his face, he hobbled to the couch and collapsed.

"I guess we'll have to wait."

She blotted her tears. "That's okay. My leg's asleep and I can't get up anyhow."


I think I'll stick to what I know I can do and leave the erotic and steamy writing to those who can handle it without laughing. *lol*

6 comments:

Tabitha Shay said...

You are sooo funny...love the not so erotic love scenes...you should write comedy...Tabs

Phyllis Campbell said...

Oh, this is soooo funny! Ginger, I may be the Queen of Steam, but you are the Queen of Funny. I love your humor. The sad thing is...your REAL love scenes happen even in my bedroom. Be glad your love scenes happen once a month. Mine are twice a YEAR! Sheesh! Although it doesn't bother me anymore. I have other things to do in the seven minute time frame...

~Marie~

Ginger Simpson said...

Phyl,
Where do you think I got the data from? A Charlie Horse trumps orgasm every time. :) I love your comment about seven minutes. that's hilarious. Tabby....I've read some of your material and it's pretty funny too!

Ginger

LuAnn said...

Gosh, Ginger, if this ain't the truth!!

Anna Kathryn Lanier said...

LOL. Yeah, if I wrote the way things 'really were' nobody would want to buy my books! LOL. But that's why it's called 'fiction.' I just laugh at the stories where the author is serious about the hero and the heroine having sex eight times in one day....show me the man! And then show me walking the next day!

Happy New Year's. May 2009 bring us all more imagination.

Anna Kathryn

Molly Daniels said...

ROFLMAO:)

I love these! I have a scene in a wip where the h/h make love on the floor, then realize how old they have gotten/hard the floor is, etc and 'stagger toward the bedroom and collapse on the bed, panting...' or something like that, anyhoo...it's been a while since I've looked at it!

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