Monday, January 26, 2009

Character Antics: Cooking With Frannie

In honor of Ginger's BRING A CHARACTER TO BLOG week, I'm pleased to present COOKING WITH FRANNIE. I'm Lisa Logan, author of A Grand Seduction, and your host for this segment. ::ahem::

Lisa: I'm here in the huge and dazzling designer kitchen of Frannie Myers, a main character in my sizzling mystery novel, A Grand Seduction. Frannie's going to show us how to prepare Quiche, and believe me when I say that NOBODY knows their way around a kitchen like my Fran. Hi, Fran!

Frannie: Hey, glad to be here...and you should like my kitchen, you're the one who designed it! Hey, what do you mean, MYSTERY novel? Why, what's going to happen?

Lisa: ::whistles:: Uh, nothing. Ooh, nice blender! So, um, about QUICHE...

Frannie: Yes! I had to learn how to make this when my husband insisted on a stupid dinner party and failed to mention that some of the guests didn't eat meat until right before everyone arrived. Should have suckered, er, divorced the cad sooner.

Lisa: Um actually, he did say...never mind. So, how do we begin?

Frannie: Well, we can't start with the beginning, since we're here in the kitchen, not my walk in closet.

Lisa: Closet? Why do we need a closet to make quiche?

Frannie: For the footwear, of course!

Lisa: You lost me.

Frannie: ::sigh:: Cooking is ALL about the right shoes. Manolos are great for meat dishes; Jimmy Choos for whipping up a quick salad...

Lisa: Er, of course. Everyone knows that. ::rolls eyes::
Maybe we should just skip ahead to the preparation?

Frannie: Okay. First, you need a pie crust. My friend Twyla knows how to make it from scratch...ooh, should I call her up and ask?

Lisa: No, that's okay. I see you've got a premade. Interesting choice for a cooking show.

Frannie: Gotta love store bought. Anyway, then you need eggs ... ::cracks them directly into pie crust::

Lisa (frowning): Uh, Fran? Shouldn't you break those into a bowl first or something?

Frannie: A bowl? Don't be silly. Quiche bakes in a crust. Why wash a bowl?

Lisa: No reason. But you got some eggshell in there.

Frannie: ::fishes around:: Uh, crap, they're slippery little devils.
::wipes hands, shrugs:: Oh well, it won't hurt anything. With the other stuff in here, noone will notice.

Lisa: I guess. Extra calcium, right? So what else?

Frannie: Then some half and half cream, ::splash/drip::
...some onions I bought already chopped, ::plunk/splotch::
... and a package of either Swiss or gruyere cheese. ::THUNK::

Lisa: Isn't the cheese supposed to be grated?

Frannie: Good grief, how tough you wanna make this? It's going to MELT, you know...no one will know what shape it started out in.

Lisa: ...if you say so.
::Jumps in shock:: GOD! What on earth are those slabs of dessicated black stuff? Some rare, freeze-dried worm? Rotten tree bark? What's that horrid smell coming off it?

Fran: Geez, Lisa, you sure don't know much about cooking. This is BACON, obviously, that I cooked earlier. ::crumbles into the crust, wipes hands:: There! All ready to go.

::heels click-click in stacatto fashion across the marble floor::

Fran: ...and, into the oven for forty minutes. WAIT! Lisa, where are you going? Aren't you going to stay for the taste test?

Lisa: ::gulp:: Uh, sorry...I just remembered I left my Pepto Bismol at home.

So, there you have it, Frannie's own SPECIAL recipe for quiche. Try it and you'll wonder why you ever ate store bought. :)


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Lisa Logan is a romance author of two published novels and an award winning short story author. She is also the Senior Acquisitions Editor for Eternal Press. For more info on Lisa, Frannie, and A Grand Seduction, visit LisaLogan.net.

2 comments:

Walt Giersbach said...

Lovin' it, Lisa and Fran. There's a natural affinity between fiction and food. Comestibles and condiments mix well with horror and homelife. This sort of thing could double the submissions potential of prandial poetry by submitting the stories to Food TV. If they ever start featuring fiction with the fajitas, maybe Bobby Flay will review it.

Lisa Logan said...

Too true, Walt! Of course, it could be argued that I can find a natural affinity between food and just about anything. LOL

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