Ah, Sweet Romance!

Isn't it wonderful to escape to a world where heroes are hunky and heroines are beautiful? But what happens when we have to come back to reality? Let's face it. God did not create us all equal, and the focus on the importance of beauty has become ridiculous. Of all the book covers you've seen, have you seen a middle-aged woman with wrinkles, gray hair, and baggy boobs? Nope! Well...old people need love, too. *lol*

My husband keeps reminding me what an amorous person I was fourteen years ago. The best I can do is tell him to hold onto those memories, because the ravages of time have all but erased any self-esteem I had. Gravity helped, too, and it's hard to feel good about being intimate when you don't like your body. I was never really crazy about mine, but there was a fleeting time I considered I wasn't all 'that' bad. Believe me, I know different now. Like the old joke...I used to wear a 38D and now I wear a 40 Long... there really isn't any humor in what aging does to you.

Everything has shifted, including my derriere. The only thing that has withstood the ravages of time are the 'saddlebags' I've tried desperately to eliminate my whole adult life. And, let's talk about cellulite. I could be an advertisement for cottage cheese. It's sad. I don't even like to undress in front of myself, let alone anyone else. Sadly, it has taken a toll on my love life. I'm blessed with a patient husband, but I'm not sure how long that patience will last. The last time we were intimate, we both got leg cramps so bad we had to stop. How romantic is that?

I'd like to see someone incorporate my love life into a romance novel. But come to think of it, it probably would be sold more as a tragedy or a humorous offering. It's not like I don't want to be the woman I used to be. I do have a brand new package of "His and Hers" lubricating lotion. I'm saving it for a special occasion...like when I'm in a coma.

It's Official!

Yep, it's official. We've become old and boring. I decided to spend some time with my hubby today because I've been neglecting him with all my editing, writing, and emailing. His pouting finally got to me.

We talked about what we wanted to do. Movies? Nah, he's practically blind from watching television while I plunk away on this computer. Bowling? Nope, both of us have bad backs and are so out of shape it would most likely incapacitate one or both of us. It's too late for skiing, even if there was snow and we could, or dared. We don't own a boat even though we live within a stone's throw of the river, and shopping is out...we do that far too often anyhow. The refrigerator seems to eat all the food we put into it. It's always empty. Of course proof that might be a lie hangs on my hips and around his stomach.

We don't have reservations for camping, besides the cost of gas to tow the trailer anywhere would take next week's paycheck. So what do two 'somewhat' senior citizens do for excitement. Sex is definitely not an option as our six month 'conjugal' visit has come and gone. *rofl* So, we decided to be daring, cross the state line and go play Bingo! I used to go with a group of gals, just for the fun of it, but we were the 'youngsters' then. Now I have the gray hairs and lack of energy to do anything else but sit and 'daub'.

Yes, we've definitely become boring. We're banking that we might win, and the prize will fill the gas tank so we can come home. B9 is my favorite number. I have no idea why, but I'm counting on it today. If not, you may have to forward our future mail to Kentucky. Wish us luck. :)