Christmas Shopping

Go ahead and hate me. My Christmas shopping’s been pretty much done since about November 20th.

I can now spend my time sitting back and watching irritated shoppers in the stores, trying to find that perfect gift for someone who probably doesn’t even want it.

Have you ever just watched people in the stores? My daughter and I went shopping on Black Friday (cue scary music) just to see what it was like. We didn’t go to a very crowded store, but whenever someone was talking on the cell phone, my daughter and I would finish their sentences out of their earshot. So, for example, if someone said, “Should I get her a blue blouse,” my daughter and I would move away and answer her with something like, “No, she’ll puke milk out her nose if she gets the blue blouse. You should know better, lady!”

My daughter gets angry at little old ladies who stand right in front of her when she’s trying to shop. She’s tiny, so they push her out of the way. With me—not tiny in the least. I stand where I want to, inching right up to obnoxious people to make them move, just for fun.

It reminds me of an email I’ve been sent more than once. In case you haven’t read it yet, it’s hilarious. I changed the dates to be more festive, giving you fun shopping excursion ideas right up to a few days before Christmas.

WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING (written by the man in question):

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

Dear Mrs. Samuel,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. August 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. September 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. September 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom then to the kitchen knives.

4. September 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. October 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. October 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.


7. October 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. October 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9. November 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.

So the next time you’re bored when shopping, remember…there are ways to enjoy yourself, even if it does result in being banned from the store.



Andie Alexander (www.andiealexander.com)

Christmas Movies

Wow…am I ever thankful this year for Christmas!!! Why, you ask? I have my first book released today with Red Rose Publishing. If you’re having problems finding a book for that romance reader on your list, here you go…problem solved.

In our family, we like to watch Christmas movies for the entire month before Christmas. I have some favorites—most of them really sappy—but also some scenes from other movies that aren’t specifically Christmas movies.

Here are a few of the ones we love to watch, year after year:

• ‘The Grinch’—the original cartoon
• ‘The Most Wonderful Time of the Year’
• ‘The Christmas Card’ (the guy isn’t a good actor, but it’s cute and so is he)
• ‘Holiday in Handcuffs’ (yeah…Stockholm Syndrome is Christmasy?)
• ‘Polar Express’
• ‘A Christmas Story’ (you’ll put your eye out, kid)
• ‘The Santa Clause’ (the first one)
• ‘Better Off Dead’, (the scene where the mom gets all the family members TV dinners for Christmas and wraps them--hilarious)
• ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town’

Do you have any others that you love to watch every year?

Merry Christmas!!

Paige Ryter www.paigeryter.com
‘Three Minutes Before Christmas’ releases TODAY!!!

Santa the Tooth Fairy

I shared this story I wrote last Christmas, but I think the message is worth repeating. I hope you enjoy it. - Ginger



Little Kayla sat near the Christmas tree and wiggled her lose tooth. She stopped and turned her attention from the crackling fire beyond the hearth. “Mommy, if I pull my tooth, do you think Santa will leave me a dollar.”

Her mother laughed. “I think you have things mixed up, honey. It’s the tooth fairy who leaves money.”

Kayla cocked her head and flashed that familiar look of independence. “I know that, Mommy! But if my tooth falls out at tonight, maybe Santa will reward me, too. I’m not sure if the Tooth Fairy works on Christmas Eve.”

Although only four, the child had a penchant for being creative. Margaret Tanner put her knitting aside and walked past her daughter to the fireplace. She poked at the logs and sent flaming fingers stretching up the chimney. “I don’t think Santa will have time to look under your pillow. You know, he’s very busy this time of year.” She walked back to her chair.

The front door opened, and a blast of cold air flickered the fire. “Daddy, daddy,” Kayla called, rushing over and grabbing him around the knees.

He ruffled her hair with his gloved hand. “Hi, Sweetheart. Let me get out of my coat and I’ll give you a hug. It’s cold outside.” He shrugged off his outerwear, sending snow flaking to the marbled entry hall floor. After hanging his coat in a nearby closet, he scooped Kayla into his arms and nuzzled her neck until she giggled. Stopping, he leaned his head back and studied her face. “Have you been a good girl today?”

“Oh yes, Daddy, and I’ve decided you can pull my loose tooth.”

He flashed a puzzled look at his wife.

She smiled. “We’ve already discussed the tooth fairy, but Kayla seems to think Santa should play a part.”

Her father placed Kayla on the ground, took her hand, and walked to his plaid recliner. Sitting, with her perched on his knee, he scratched his brow. “Why don’t we just wait until that tooth falls out on its own? There’s no rush.”

“But, I want you to pull it.” Her eyes clouded with tears and her little bow lips pulled into a pout.

“Then, let me see.” He took hold of the loose tooth and wiggled it. “You’re right. I think it could come out.” Russell Tanner ruffled her hair again.

“Then pull it, Daddy.” She scrunched her eyes closed and hunched her shoulders.

“I already did.” He held up a tiny, white enamel pearl.

Her eyes widened. She smacked her lips, then made a face. A wee bit of blood dotted her bottom lip.

“Come on, Kayla, let’s rinse out your mouth and get you ready for bed," her mother said. "Santa comes tonight and if you aren’t asleep, he’ll just pass us by.”

Kayla slid off her father’s knee and flashed a smile. She looked adorable with a space where her tooth was just minutes ago. “Thank you, Daddy. I wanted to see if Santa will leave me a dollar so I can put it in the offering plate at church tomorrow. It’s Jesus’ birthday and I want to leave him a gift.”

Christmas Traditions

Christmas. What a cool time of year. And this year, I have an extra reason to celebrate. My book, ‘Hearts of Compassion’ released yesterday with Red Rose Publishing! If you want an inspirational story that takes place at Christmas, this would be a cool present for someone.

When we first moved up here to the great white north called Wisconsin, my children were angry with me around December 6th. Why, you ask? Because this area of the country is laden with people whose ancestry is Polish, Norwegian, and other colder European descent, they celebrate this odd holiday called ‘St. Nick’s Day.’ That means on the evening of December 5th, children in this area of Wisconsin get an early Christmas present. I looked it up online, and sure enough, there’s a website about Wisconsin that describes this: http://www.stnicholascenter.org/Brix?pageID=391. A woman tells exactly what we’re going through, because Santa didn’t stop at her house on December 5th and her son was upset. For the holiday, children leave out their stockings or shoes, and in the morning, a present is inside. How would someone who doesn’t know this fit into this area? It wasn’t easy, and still isn’t, even though our kids are older.

It made me wonder if there are other traditions I should concern myself with this time of year, in the event that I move away to a warmer area of the country and don’t have to worry about wind chill so cold, we eat ice cream to warm up.

I went to http://www.santas.net/americanchristmas.htm and checked out a few strange things that might make its way to various ethnic pockets in the United States. If I move to Hawaii (I wish to move someplace warm like that), there would be fireworks and Santa would arrive by boat. In California, Santa arrives on a surfboard. In Boston, carolers would be everywhere, playing hand bells. In New Orleans, a huge decorated ox is paraded around downtown.

What are your town’s unusual traditions you wouldn’t find anywhere else? Or do you even know if they’re considered ‘unusual’? What traditions does your family follow at Christmas?

Make this Christmas something special and enjoy however you celebrate! Merry Christmas!
Eryn Grace (www.eryngrace.com)

Merry Christmas from Linore Rose Burkhard

Since I've not met Linore Rose, I borrowed a little information at her website:

Linore Rose Burkard lives with her husband and five children in a town full of antique stores and gift shops in southwestern Ohio. She home schooled her children for ten years. Raised in New York, she graduated magna cum laude from the City University of New York with a Bachelor of Arts in English literature.

I'm so happy to share her Merry Christmas wishes with you, and also to let you glimpse her beautiful and festive decorations. She's a woman cut from my same bolt of cloth. Five kids, and home schooling? Wow, maybe not the exact same cloth, just the one with Christmas fabric. *lol*











































The pictures make me want to join the kids on the couch and soak up the beauty. I thank Linore Rose for sharing part of her holiday with us here, and I invite you to check out her website for more information on her books. Her Regency, Before the Season Ends, looks well-suited for a great holiday read. Find out more about Linore Rose Burkhard here.