Contest - Get Published

Shoot for the Moon...Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars - Brian Littrell

BWLPP presents their Shoot for the Moon Contest.

Do you have what it takes to be a BWLPP Author?

Books We Love Publishing Partners (BWLPP), a by-invitation-only publisher, is opening their doors to submissions from now through April 30, 2011. We're looking for high quality manuscripts from published or unpublished authors in three categories:

· Mystery/Suspense. Any sub-genre within this category welcome, non-erotic if romance, please.

· Romance. Again, any sub-genre is fine. These stories should be sweet to sensual romance, non-erotic.

· Spice. Erotic romance in any sub-genre. All the usual caveats apply: No pedophilia, no rape as titillation, no bodily functions, no necrophilia (excluding bloodsucking undead) and no bestiality (excluding shape-shifters).

The top two manuscripts in each category, with sufficient potential, will be chosen to receive a publishing contract with BWLPP which includes editing, cover art and promotion.

Manuscripts should be a minimum of 25K, longer works welcome. Formatting: One inch page margins, Times New Roman 12 pt. font, single spaced, justified, first line indent .05, sent in .rtf as an attachment. Please enter completed manuscripts only.

Submit synopsis and first three chapters (roughly 5K) to bwlpp@shaw.ca by April 30, 2011. Full manuscripts may be requested at any time. Winners will be notified and announced the first week in May. Direct questions to above email address.

Good Luck and always Shoot for the Moon!

* GREAT KINDLE GIVEAWAY POST *

Everyone who comments on this post will receive an extra entry into BWLPP's Great Kindle Giveaway Contest. Winner must be a member of BWLPP's mailing list. Find the list here: http://bwlpp.com/
Limit one additional entry per week.

I'm a BWLPP Author, and very proud to be one.

Friday Funny - NEVER WAX YOUR HOO-HA

I have no idea who wrote this awesome advice.  I giggled my way through it and thought it worthy of sharing.  It came via email with no identification, so thank you to the the person with the amazing sense of humor who shared a personal moment.

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.
Read on..........
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Fix dinner, watch the grand kids come and go.

I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should get the waxing kit from the medicine cabinet.

So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.

It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you
just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them
apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair
right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be?

I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure
this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together.

Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair
dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold wax,' yeah...right!)

I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.

It works!

OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me!

I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin
extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the family, I
sneak back into the bathroom for the ultimate hair fighting championship.

I drop my granny panties and place one foot on the toilet..

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of
my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to
the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip).

I inhale deeply and brace myself.... RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!..... OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!! Vision
returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip.

CRAP!

Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted.

I think I may pass out.... I must stay conscious... I must stay conscious..

Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe.... OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me
so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the
glory that is my triumph over body hair.

I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it.

Where is the hair???

WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet.

I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip... it's not!

I touch.. I am touching wax.

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now
covered in cold wax and matted hair.

Then I make the next BIG mistake ... remember my foot is still propped
upon the toilet? So I put my foot down.

Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut! I penguin walk around
the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please
don't let me get the urge to poop.. My head may pop off!'

What can I do to melt the wax?

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can
stand in the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax
should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right ???

*WRONG!!!!!!!*

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture
prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together,
is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub....
in scalding hot water.

Which, by the way, does not melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself
to the porcelain!!

God bless the AT&T man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a
phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret
of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter.

'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal
but she does try to hide her laughter from me.

She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, 'Are we talking cheeks
or hoo-ha?'

She's laughing out loud by now ... I can hear her.

I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of
the box.

YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through various solutions, I resort to trying to scrape the
wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie
goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and
then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm
pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this
event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace......
the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point?

I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!! The scream probably woke the family and
scared the dickens out of my friend.

It's sooo painful, but I really don't care.

'IT WORKS!!

I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I
successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief
and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts.
I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color......how bad can that turn out???

Another Side of Mom

A few days ago, I poked fun at my mom's strange 'hoarding habits,' but I want you to know how I truly feel about her. Here's a poem I wrote for her 80th birthday a few years back:


Through the Years

On the journey that we travel
that winds throughout the years,
We follow the path God plotted
and give to him our fears.

When the lord mapped out my life's plan
and appointed a shining star,
He must have envisioned her endearing
smile that would carry me so far.

For eighty years she's faced it all,
the good, the bad, some pain.
And in the broader scope of life,
she rarely did complain.

My beacon still beams brightly,
not dimmed by a passing day.
She's my mother, mentor, and best friend
and I just want to say....

I love you with all my heart, Mom!

Ending Comment Contest for Sparta Rose

ESTELLA KISSELL!

Congratulations, Estella, you've won a free download of my new release, Sarah's Journey, plus an autographed postcard to go along with it. Please email me at mizging2003@yahoo.com to claim your prizes.

I'd like to thank everyone who played and left comments. You are so appreciated. I hope the rest of you will be so intrigued about the ending to Sarah's story that you'll purchase your own copy from Eternal Press .

I'll be holding another contest soon for a free download of Sparta Rose. It should be out next month. In July, I'm anticipating that Embezzled Love will be available as a prize.

Again, thanks for dropping by, and keep coming back. :)

Ging

I'm so excited. Wedneday, May 7th...egads, that's tomorrow, Sarah's Journey will be available for sale. Although all my books hold a special place in my heart, this one, for some reason, is one of which I'm extremely proud. Tiring of the predictable, I decided to try something different with the ending. My first review indicated it was worth taking a writing risk. The reviewer emailed me privately and told me she thought the ending was awesome. So... you'll either love it or hate it, but see if you figure out the reason for it.

There will be an 'all day' launch party tomorrow at Eternal Press, where I'll be hanging out and celebrating with other EP author's who have May releases, but here, I'm offering a free copy of Sarah's Journey to one lucky person who leaves a comment on any of my current posts. I will draw from those people and post the lucky winner's name in next week's blog. I hope everyone chimes in for a chance. Oh...do you know how long it's been since I've had a full-length release? A long time. And I have two more coming in the next few months, so am I excited? You bet!

Please plan on dropping by the launch party, we'll have lots of cyber champagne and calorie free snax. There are releases to fit any reader's need. Visit us anytime tomorrow at:
Eternal Press Readers Group

Spring Cleaning Contest

SPRING CLEANING CONTEST

(This contest begins March 20th--the 1st day of Spring!)

The days are growing warmer. The robin's perched in your windowsill. And you're climbing the walls. It's time to shake out those curtains, clean out the closets, and don those walking shoes. Spring is here! What better way to celebrate than to find some inspiration? Ten authors have noted their favorite inspirational quotes on their websites. All you have to do is find them in order to win some fabulous inspiring prizes! Make a list of these 10 quotes and send them to happyendings2007@aol.com by midnight CST April 10, 2008.

www.skhyemoncrief.com

www.alishapaige.com

www.aklanier.com

www.kyannwaters.com

www.bessmcbride.com

www.aithnejarretta.com

www.meaganhatfield.com

www.phyllismariecampbell.com

http://mizging.blogspot.com

http://highlandlassiesreviews.blogspot.com

Ginger's contest quote:

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. Kurt Vonnegut

Ginger's Prizes:
A simply scrumptious lotion from Bath and Bodyworks and choice of any download from my backlist.

Comments About Dr. Phil

I shared this on the Inspired Author Blog and wanted to share it with you, too. It if saves on person, then I've helped spread some useful info.

I am so appalled. I just finished watching the Dr. Phil Show and today’s topic was registered sex offenders. I’ve never given much thought to what happens to those convicted and released of sexual crimes, but today’s show prompted me to blog about it.

Today, Dr. Phil interviewed people living in an apartment complex in Long Beach, CA. The owner of the apartment evidently contracted with the government to house paroled sexual offenders. It’s true, no one wants to live next door to them, and they do need to live somewhere, but I’m appalled that some scumbag is making money from our tax dollars by housing them en masse. The property owners nearby are losing residents and income at devastating rates, and those remaining are concerned. I would be, too.

According to guests on the program, besides collecting rent from each sexual predator living in his apartment, the owner also receives $1000 per month, per parolee there. He has ousted all of the regular tenants and replaced them with those recently out of prison. I ask the question…Why are we paying to provide housing from our tax money?

Until we have stronger laws to deter people from crimes preying on the sexual vulnerability of others, the problem is never going to be solved. Considering the severity of the crime committed and removing the offending equipment might be a good deterrent. It is a well-documented fact that most offenders continue to repeat their bad behavior.

Another guest on the show, a registered sexual offender himself, admitted that the condition is never cured—the urges DO NOT go away. He’s seventy years old and still finds interest in young boys. He also molested his daughter. His honesty was frightening and very revealing. His admission that sexual urges ‘dumb down’ a person’s common sense and make them more apt to offend leaves us at the mercy of the offenders. We have to gamble that they have enough control to remove themselves from temptation. That’s not likely to happen because men, especially, are sexual beings. Unfortunately, many need it to confirm their manhood.

There are laws that prohibit sexual offenders from living within a certain distance from schools, but nothing that restrains them from day care centers or areas where children gather. In the case of the Dr. Phil guests, public beaches. I went on the sexual registry for my area and was shocked to see how many rapists and other sexual offenders live very close to my home. I urge each of you to investigate your own neighborhoods. Just go to www.familywatchdog.us/ and enter your address. You’ll be shocked, but at least you’ll be informed.

There Should Be A Law!

Thought I'd share the email I sent to a few friends. Hey...if you don't laugh at SPAM, it can drive you crazy. I do think there should be a law against people promising you tons of money, though.

Great News, I just received an email from Nigeria,telling me that I've been selected to inherit ten million dollars. Of course this is about the fiftieth one this month, but this one is filled with Bible verses and the woman is dying of cancer with no heirs, so it must be true. I almost didn't see it, mixed among the emails researching the cleanliness of my colon, asking if I want to enlarge my penis (don't have one, but how kind of them to inquire) and offering to share nude photographs with me. How blessed I am that so many care about my financial situation. Right below the notification of my immediate wealth was notice on how to cease debt collections and advice on how to earn a respectable living as a police officer. Amidst the joy and caring, I'm just really concerned about who is spreading rumors about my dirty colon.

Hope I gave you a giggle. Have a great weekend.

OLD POLL RESULTS

Twenty four people responded to the poll - How Often Do You Purchase an E-Book? Here are the results:

1 = Once in a while
3 = Constantly, I'm addicted
4 = Frequently
11 = One for authors I know and like
5 = Never

Now all we have to do, Ladies blogging with me this week, is convert those five people to frequent buyers. *lol*

Check out the new poll - How often do you comment on blogs?

Truckin with Prissy Again

Poor Prissy...she isn't having a very good time in the Peterbuilt. I empathize with her. If you've never trucked across 48 states on an air seat, you just haven't lived the good life. *lol* To say I had to hitch up my bra straps a few notches is an understatement. But luckily, that exciting part of my life is behind me.

Some of the trip was fun and I enjoyed spending time with my husband, but give me a good hot shower, clean clothes and a places to tinkle besides on a porta-potty in the back of a moving big rig on a rough road. :) Since I usually sleep with a white noise machine, the all night purring of diesel engines around us didn't bother me at all, but I did have to get use to a vibrating bed. You might think that makes for a great sex life, but I have one word for you... NOT!

People have no idea how difficult the life of a trucker really is, and let me tell you folks, I never respected them more for putting up with the antics of people in cars than I did after having witnessed stupidity for a month. It was like a wake-up call the next time I got into a car. All I can tell you is now, when I see a trucker's signal, I flash him and let him in. Or HER...the number of female drivers is on the increase. I admire you 'ladies of the highway', you've got more guts than I have.

Hubby kept suggesting that we team drive. I considered getting my license until I witnessed the parking situations. Sometimes it's like threading a needle to park that 53 foot trailer between two others, especially when you're using mirrors only. If you look in the rear view mirror, you only see the sleeper. *lol* Or me sitting on the bed, biting my nails. It made me so nervous, I had to close the curtains and hide until hubby was done...either that or get out and take a walk. It takes practice to park those puppies, and often there was an audience. I always suffer from performance anxiety, so I figured it wasn't a career I should pursue. When I saw a woman take the stack off another rig in a truck stop, I decided, yep...it ain't for me!

Hubby drives locally now and is home at night. It's a vast improvement, but strange as seems, when a big rig passes us sometimes, I get an urge to suffer again. :)

Just remember everything you use, from aluminum foil to zinc oxide salve was brought by truck to your local stores. Keep on Trucking America, but please let the cost of fuel plummet cause we all end up paying in the end.

The Difference A Day Can Make

This is what's left of our post office. I can't quit thinking about how many times I've climbed those stairs.

Yesterday seemed like an ordinary day. It was cloudy, drizzly and somewhat warmer than what it has been. Nothing was out of the ordinary. Around 8:00 P.M. when I considered putting my grandson to bed for school, the electricity flickered a few times and went off. Luckily, my son works for a company that provides a truck that comes generator-equipped. He backed it up to the house and ran cords in so we could continue to watch the weather reports. We all sat and watched storm-tracker on Channel 5 as the red sections grew larger and more intense. They were headed for Nashville. We live about 40 miles away so of course we were concerned when little swirly marks popped up.

We continued watching, because my son has always disliked storms and becomes our instant safety monitor. Last night I'm so happy he did. Around 8:30, he instructed me to empty out half our closet. I thought it was silly, but I did it anyway. I'm from California. Our biggest threats were earthquakes and they came without warning.
But, I cleared an area.

Around 9:30 we were gathered around the TV watching the storm come closer to Castalian Springs. The estimated time was about twenty minutes before it reached our community. We've had high winds before and tornado alerts, so I wasn't overly concerned, but at 9:55, the storm-tracker screen highlighted street names, among them Harsh Lane and Lick Creek. My heart pounded. We live on Lick Creek. The weatherman's voice added emphasis to my fear, "People who live in this area need to go to your safe place NOW."

We crammed ourselves into the closet and within seconds, the roaring we heard was deafening. I've often heard it described as a 'freight train' and that's pretty accurate. As quickly as it started it was gone. The TV cable had gone dead and there was stone silence. The sky suddenly flamed, and we worried that houses were on fire. Little did we know that a tornado had taken a large section of Castalian Springs and turned it into rubble. Sirens blared, and my son went investigating in his bare feet and pajama bottoms. The house at the end of our street was gone...at least everything except the basement. Trees and power lines were down, and although the far horizon was a huge ball of orange, it was still too dark to see much of anything else.

We finally went to bed, still without power, wondering what was on fire. All but my son...he sat up and kept vigil for the next approaching round. I don't think he went to bed until the sun was rising. We awoke to news and THP helicopters filling the sky, and learned the fire was a gas plant miles away that had been struck by the twister. On TV and through the mouths of neighbors, the story unfolded. The post office was gone, along with all the houses around it. That didn't account for the devastating swash left to get to that point. House after house leveled. Twisted trees littered with personal belongings, and cars flattened until unrecognizable.

The houses on the right hand side of Hwy 25 were now nothing more than debris on the left hand side. Mail was scattered everywhere. While trying to find survivors, someone heard a baby cry, and miracle of all miracles, an 11 month old child was found alive amidst the rubble. The mother, not so lucky. A few miles away, and eighteen month old survived having been sucked from his parents' arms. At least a touch of joy in a tragedy.

Seven people who lived within a few mile radius of me died last night. I didn't know them personally, but I share the sorrow of their loved ones. Yesterday, a mother and child probably played together and never expected it would be their last day on earth together. Life is too short, people, not to reach out and embrace the ones you love. Let them know before you can't.

I've seen devastation before on the news, but it never touches you as much as when it happens in your own backyard. I say that literally. Had the wind shifted a few hundred feet, my family would have been among those not so lucky. We truly feel blessed today. My prayers are with those who now try to recover from the disaster and heartache. We were even more saddened to learn that the man across the street suffered a heart-attack and died while trying to seek safety in his closet. It's been a long, emotional day for everyone in Castalian Springs.

So, as I reflect on the past twenty-four hours... to all you, my friends, I say, "I love you, and I'm so happy to be alive. Blessed to be able to tell you."

Placing a Want Ad

LIVE FRIEND WANTED

Somewhat reclusive author in need of person to visit and engage in actual conversation. Hoping to find someone who speaks semi-intelligently, but I can be flexible. Discussions of anything other than Go Diego Go, Wonder Pets, or Thomas the Train are a definite must. Other taboo subjects include politics, religion and the war in Iraq. No Sponge Bob Squarepants attire, please. Friend is welcome to visit any day of the week; particularly Wednesdays when my grandson’s mother actually assumes the role.

Granny Panties

My friend, Rita, shared a joke today about sayings things you wish you could take back. She reminded me, not of something I'd said, but something that was said TO me. I can laugh about it now, but at the time, it wasn't all that funny. :)

I'd worked with a woman for years, and she came in one Monday morning, discussing her recent shopping trip and all the year-end bargains she'd found. While discussing her purchases, the topic turned to the panties she bought. Her dialog went something like this:

"I bought the same panties I've been getting for years. Same size as always, and I got them home, took a shower and put on a pair. I was shocked, absolutely shocked. I checked the label twice to make sure they were my size, but although the tag said they were, they hung on me. They were huge. The legs gapped, the seat sagged, and the waistband was evidently made to fit someone obese. I should have held them up before I bought them. I certainly would have noticed something wrong, because I don't think I've ever seen anything so big in my life."

Without blinking an eye, she turned to me and said. "Do you think you could wear them?"

Although I was taken aback by her comment, I swallowed my pride and quickly responded, "Well, if I can't, I can probably cover my car with them."

The sad ending to the story: They fit me!

Happy, Happy

I"m still reeling that it's been eight years since we all sat and chewed our nails over what would happen in 2000. I think that was the last time I stayed up to welcome in a new year. All I know is that watching the ball drop last night in NYC via Dick Clark's Rocking New Years Eve party, was not all that uplifting. I couldn't believe how he'd aged, and his speech was seriously altered because of his stroke. I think there comes a time when people need to hang up their 'famous' hat and retire. I've admired him for years and followed his career, but seriously... I went to bed more depressed than inspired.

Although 2007 was no productive as far as my writing career, I did see progress in Spencer, and that's far more important. I'm looking forward to two new releases this year, and hopefully the signing of a new contract for Sarah's Journey, but that remains to be seen.

I've got some interesting ideas planned for my blogging year, so I hope you'll stay tuned and join in the fun. Don't forget to scroll down and enter you choice of the most 'repulsive' word.

Hope you have a wonderful day. Be back tomorrow. :)